We are all background characters.

[T4tomo]

They do but humans do sickening things like torture people or make the killing painful on purpose. Also genocides which have gone in the millions.

A blue whale will eat 4 tonnes of krill per day. The Khmer rouge didn't get anywhere close to that.

 

[All uphill]

I observe that some people have a powerful need to be the main character, when we are actually all bit players.

Years ago I heard an interesting talk suggesting people who cannot bear being ignored will indulge in conspiracy theories to feel noticed. Better to feel persecuted by "them" than ignored.

 

[Slick]

And then there are community cafes, volunteering opportunities and loads of sports and social activities.

We have much more mobility with jobs and holidays, the freedom to leave difficult family and economic circumstances.

That all means that many of us pass through lots of groups of people in our lifetimes, rather than being trapped in one village all our lives.

Exactly. I worked offshore for years and spent more time with some individuals from all over the world than I did my own family. Your going to build up strong relationships with people in those circumstances but I only speak with a select few now I'm no longer in that environment. I feel that's the natural order of things, well it is for me at least.

Interesting thread!

Most friendships ime congregate around situations - schools, work, clubs etc. All of which come and go as life rolls by. And most of those friends don't 'stick'. Not a source of worry for me, it is what it is.

Other things that kill friendships over time ime are situational changes such as friends who suddenly become doting grandparents and their life focus shifts and we no longer 'gel', some just become older, duller and lose their vitality, and some become over-clingy and just want too much of your time. Various people have been de-friended over the years because of these reasons. Again, this doesn't bother me.

It helps that I do not tend to be a backward-looking person. I don't bother with reunions, I don't yearn to reconnect in any way, shape or form with ex's - in fact I cannot understand what people get from such outreaches. Maybe just a longing for yesterday and perceived halcyon days.

I'm a very sociable person and like to have friends to engage with but I do accept that, apart from a few, that these will almost certainly be transient relationships.

You may be onto something with the looking back thing, as that is something I never do. Once I move on, that's it, although that said I do still have a few very good friends from the old country. I might give them a call later.

 

[lazybloke]

Nobody cares about you. It’s scary and liberating. When one imagines all the people they must have met in school, work, in the street, and maybe even in television, one must acknowledge they have forgotten most interactions. Everyone is basically a background character. You are like that in theirs, also. You think they care. You’re worried about what they think. But, if you knew how little the world actually thinks of you, you wouldn’t care. No other animal is ever evil. Only humans can be so cruel to others. Where does it come from, primates don’t display such behaviour?

My group of friends, acquaintances and colleagues changes from month to month/year to year.
Family are more of a constant, but change is everywhere and unavoidable.

If you want more from relationships with others, you have to make the effort to have a genuine rapport with them, and then to maintain it , otherwise they will drift away thinking 'that Milzy hasn't bothered to call in ages'

 

[All uphill]

My group of friends, acquaintances and colleagues changes from month to month/year to year.
Family are more of a constant, but change is everywhere and unavoidable.

If you want more from relationships with others, you have to make the effort to have a genuine rapport with them, and then to maintain it , otherwise they will drift away thinking 'that Milzy hasn't bothered to call in ages'

"Milzy who?"

 

[Slick]

"Milzy who?"

You remember him.

He's the bloke that used to call.

 

[Time Waster]

I hate being on my own, never wanted to be.

I am happy therefore I am on my own. That'll change soon as son and partner and son's friend will be back in a few hours. I will enjoy my solo existence for as long as it can last.

 

[Time Waster]

Isn't there a bug or funghi that infects an insect, bug, mammal or slug after it grows inside and reaches maturity it manipulates the host to want to climb to the highest point it can reach. Then the fruiting body, in its last act as it kills the host, bursts out and sends its spores flying to hopefully infect more.

IIRC there is something that infects certain common slugs in Hawaii. Those slugs carry it around and if you as humans eat crops the slugs have been in contact with you will get seriously ill, it affects your brain or something like that. Something like brain zombie slugs but I can't remember the details.

There are some really sick and nasty shoot going on in nature and we are not the biggest killers, that will be malaria and mosquitoes in malaria areas. Not torture perhaps but not nice. Mind you I did see something about bonobos hunting and often playing with the monkey catch among each other. The sex bit is usually about getting your share of the prized meat. As in a lower level bonobo offers itself up to a higher rank bonobo and while that is occupied the lower rank gets to eat a bit of the meat it might not get access to otherwise. We really need to stop this human exceptionalism mindset that makes out that we are the only ones to torture, hunt for pleasure or other cruel thing. We are just not that exceptional!!

 

[Dogtrousers]

A blue whale will eat 4 tonnes of krill per day. The Khmer rouge didn't get anywhere close to that.

Without any context that's a great post.

 

[All uphill]

You remember him.

He's the bloke that used to call.

Was he the one who ate all the chocolate digestives?

 

[lazybloke]

A blue whale will eat 4 tonnes of krill per day. The Khmer rouge didn't get anywhere close to that.

Without any context that's a great post.

The khmer rouge - monsters for indiscriminate krill hunting, seal clubbing, and accidentally netting dolphins.


Can we not have True Facts about the Khmer Rouge?

 

[Ming the Merciless]

Being a background character is great. Who wants to be blinded by a spotlight and be appraised by critics each night?

 

[MontyVeda]

My group of friends, acquaintances and colleagues changes from month to month/year to year.
Family are more of a constant, but change is everywhere and unavoidable.

If you want more from relationships with others, you have to make the effort to have a genuine rapport with them, and then to maintain it , otherwise they will drift away ...

Some people do seem quite shirty if I haven't been in touch for a while, like I supposed to subscribe on a regular basis. It baffles me. If I bump into a friend it doesn't matter if it's been a fortnight or a decade since i've seen them. But what baffles me more is those who get shirty haven't been in touch either.

 

[ebikeerwidnes]

And then there are community cafes, volunteering opportunities and loads of sports and social activities.

We have much more mobility with jobs and holidays, the freedom to leave difficult family and economic circumstances.

That all means that many of us pass through lots of groups of people in our lifetimes, rather than being trapped in one village all our lives.

The papers and media generally show us all the bad things
fire started in a house here
woman attacked and beaten up there
guns fired somewhere else

they don;t tell you much about food banks feeding loads of people
or museums running science clubs for disadvantaged kid
or people visiting old people who can;t get out
many of whom do it all as a volunteer

there is a lot of good stuff going on - it is just not news worthy

 

[lazybloke]

Focus on the people who ARE worth the effort, and who don't get weird as the drop of a hat (unless you like that sort of thing!)