Favourite Insults

[Chris S]

"Better to be conceived by a Miss than be misconceived."
(Alexi Sayle impersonating Oscar Wilde retorting to a Millwall fan)

 

[Chris S]

Chubby Brown used to reply to hecklers with, "And you were so nice to me in the toilets earlier on."

 

[Ming the Merciless]

Oh dear, never mind.

Not so much an insult as being dismissive of whatever they have to say. Those of a certain vintage will know which TV show it comes from.

 

[roley poley]

you got a bit crambazzled last night

 

[raleighnut]

Away and boil ya head ya mug yar

 

[Mark Grant]

How can you be so ugly with only one head?

 

[roley poley]

you were born so ugly the midwife slapped your mother..(tip o' the hat to Lez Dawson)

 

[Donger]

"My mistake, I thought this town was too big to have a village idiot".

 

[slowmotion]

[media]
]View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cAy4zULKFDU[/media]

 

[Drago]

Last time I saw an arriss that big it had a dart sticking out of it.

 

[Profpointy]

I've quoted this before but I do like "fools, knaves, and prattling coxcombes"

 

[swee'pea99]

I've always remembered in a novel I read decades ago one kid saying to another, "If I was a dog and had a face like yours I'd shave my ass and walk backwards."

 

[rockyroller]

when someone says "see you tomorrow" I like to say "not if I see you first", but with affection & a giggle. maybe that's not really an insult?

 

[tyred]

I always liked this from Robert Burns.

As ta’en thy ain wife Kate’s advice!
She taul thee weel thou was a skellum,
A blethering, blustering, drunken blellum;
That frae November till October,
Ae market-day thou was nae sober;

 

[Seevio]

I'm not saying you're the biggest idiot in the world but you better hope he doesn't die.