Any good jokes ... ?

[PeteXXX]

 

[Dayvo]

 

[rikki]

View attachment 499848

A jar of amoeba would have been more appropriate.

 

[Cavalol]

Me and my mate had a car boot challenge to see who could get the cheapest item. I got an A-Z of Chester for 25p, he paid 15p for an abacus with no beads.

Surely that doesn't count?

 

[Electric_Andy]

Americanisms really annoy me, period

 

[PaulB]

"I've got a one thousand seven hundred yard paddy field" said the man with a wry smile.

 

[Joey Shabadoo]

"Pop" goes the weasel, and other fun microwave games.











(sorry)

 

[Chromatic]

"I've got a one thousand seven hundred yard paddy field" said the man with a wry smile.

Shouldn't that be '....... said the man with almost a wry smile'?

 

[Andy_R]

"I've got a one thousand seven hundred yard paddy field" said the man with a wry smile.

I'm definitely more of a crocodile than an alligator, cos that one took me a while to spot....

 

[Cavalol]

Don’t buy any Russian currency in Yorkshire. That would be asking for t’rouble.

 

[Cavalol]

Scouser jokes were big in the 1980s. They were usually just old racist jokes with 'Scouser' substituted for a racial slur. This one seems to be the exception though.

I asked a bloke in the pub last night, "Hi mate, so where are you from?"
"Speke, in Liverpool," he replied.
"Ok, arrr eh lahhh, where ya from den like?"

 

[johnnyb47]

What's the most confusing day in Liverpool....
Father's day.

 

[colly]

A French pal asked me if I knew who won the Tour de France in 1940.

'The 5th Panzer Division' was not the correct answer.


Apparently.

 

[betty swollocks]

"I've got a one thousand seven hundred yard paddy field" said the man with a wry smile.

Am I missing something here...being a little obtuse, but shouldn't that be 'one thousand seven hundred and sixty'?

 

[Cavalol]

Am I missing something here...being a little obtuse, but shouldn't that be 'one thousand seven hundred and sixty'?

He'll be here in a short mile to answer that.