Any good jokes ... ?

[morrisman]

I was walking past a pet shop yesterday. A sign on the shop front said ; ‘Pedigree Netherlands cats for sale.’
I didn’t believe they were from the Netherlands so, I went into the shop and asked the assistant...
‘How Dutch is that moggie in the window?’.

 

[twentysix by twentyfive]

Eh?

"Steep" is another word for "soak" in some parts of the Empire.

 

[Threevok]

Eh?

See, if your name was Marrowfat, we wouldn't be having this conversation

 

[Cavalol]

My uncle regularly gives money to the Cats’ Protection League. If he ever misses a payment, they come round to his shop and knock things off the shelves.

 

[morrisman]

The circus ran a competition for contortionists. I entered myself and won first prize.

 

[Andrew_Culture]

Popping by again old bean...

Yes! Hello there!

 

[PaulB]

I've just tried some of Elvis Costello's Mediterranean sausages and they were wonderful. I think Olive Salami is here to stay.

 

[betty swollocks]

 

[CharlesF]

View: https://www.facebook.com/BBCScotland/videos/at-home-with-the-thunbergs-only-an-excuse/550606562449954/

 

[Cavalol]

The local Mafia Godfather has taken up taxidermy.

He's made me an otter I can't refuse.

 

[betty swollocks]

The local Mafia Godfather has taken up taxidermy.

He's made me an otter I can't refuse.

He put a very complicated bomb inside it....
so now you have an otter you can't defuse.

 

[Cavalol]

Next doors dog shat in our garden the other day. My wife said get a shovel and throw it back over the fence.


Now they have the dog pooh & our shovel.

 

[Cavalol]

My 'Sting' pillow has been stolen. The Police are on the case.

 

[CharlesF]

 

[betty swollocks]