Any good jokes ... ?

[Joey Shabadoo]

Greggs have apologised for offending Christians with a nativity scene advert that replaces Jesus with a sausage roll.
A spokesman for Greggs professed,
"We wanted to celebrate our lord and savoury."

No coincidence that Lord Jesus backwards reads susejd rol

 

[Sandra6]

Where does a mansplainer get his water?
In a well, actually.

 

[Cavalol]

Apparently I've upset some Take That fans.


Whatever I said, whatever I did, I didn't mean it.

 

[ClichéGuevara]

When I was young we were very poor and I sometimes had to wear my sister's old clothes to school.

Turned up in the same dress as my teacher one day.

Don't know who was more embarrassed, him or me.

 

[morrisman]

Damn Amazon and their Black Friday sale! I ordered four Kindles and they sent me a Two Ronnies DVD.

 

[Andy_R]

 

[ClichéGuevara]

I can't speak for anyone else, but I think I'm a terrible ventriloquist.

 

[ClichéGuevara]

At our local recycling center dead batteries can be handed in free of charge...

 

[ClichéGuevara]

Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

 

[welsh dragon]

What's a foot long and slippery?

A slipper

 

[welsh dragon]

What did they give the man who invented the doorknocker?

A no-bell prize.

 

[screenman]

Two people sitting having a drink in Skeggie, your round says one, you are not to skinny yourself says the other.

 

[ClichéGuevara]

I ordered some stuff online the other day and I used my Donor Card instead of my Debit Card. Cost me an arm and a leg.

 

[welsh dragon]

A termite walks into a bar and says

" is the bar tender here? "

 

[ClichéGuevara]

How many Countdown contestants does it take to change a BLIHBULGT?