Any good jokes ... ?

[Cubist]

What's pink and hard? Pig with a flicknife.

 

[welsh dragon]

What's pink and hard? Pig with a flicknife.

Oh god. That one is so stupid, its quite funny.

 

[Cubist]

What's pink and hard first thing in the morning?

Financial Times crossword

 

[Speicher]

What is yellow and white and travels at 120mph?





A train driver's egg sandwich.

 

[Joey Shabadoo]

I thought I was a great lover.

Turns out she has asthma.

 

[Joey Shabadoo]

Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees?


They're really good at it.

 

[PaulB]

What's so great about Switzerland?

Well their flag is a big plus.

 

[Markymark]

What's pink, wrinkly and hangs out my pyjama bottoms?

My gran.

 

[Cubist]

Why is an orangutan like an armadillo?

Neither of them can drive a combine harvester

 

[guitarpete247]

What's green and stands in the corner?





A naughty frog.

 

[guitarpete247]

What's green, has 8 legs.and yellow tartan trousers?





Rupert the snooker table.

 

[guitarpete247]

What's white and goes hip hippity hop through the bush of Australia?





Skippy the Bush Kangafridge.

 

[morrisman]

A tanker has spilled thousands of gallons of paint on a busy road in Bristol.
Gloucester Road?
No, more of a matt finish.

 

[morrisman]

When I said butter, I actually meant ghee. I should have clarified.

 

[PaulB]

And as it's Valentines Day, a little love story.

I just got off the phone with a friend in New England. He said that since early this morning the snow has been coming down, and it is nearly waist high and still falling. The temperature has dropped to 17 degrees F and the north wind is increasing to near gale force. His wife has done nothing but look through the kitchen window and just stare. He says that if it gets much worse, he may have to let her in.