Any good jokes ... ?

[Stephenite]

"Mamma Mia"

Is it a song?
Is it a film?

Or is it a Manc kid telling his mother he's home.

 

[Chris S]

Employers are now stipulating how often staff can use the loo View attachment 336740

At Harland and Wolff they actually used to time toilet breaks. You just got seven minutes.
http://www.nationalgeographic.com.au/engineering/raising-the-bow.aspx

 

[benb]

At Harland and Wolff they actually used to time toilet breaks. You just got seven minutes.
http://www.nationalgeographic.com.au/engineering/raising-the-bow.aspx

That's barely enough time to get comfy

 

[Smokin Joe]

Premature ejeculator seeks highly sexed 21 year old blonde with long legs, who wears short skirts and has big boobs......Oh crap, it doesn't matter now.

 

[PaulB]

My neighbour knocked on my door at 2:30 this morning, can you believe that 2:30am?! Luckily for him I was still up playing my Bagpipes.

 

[TVC]

 

[welsh dragon]

How do you count cows?

With a cowculator

 

[welsh dragon]

I just saw some idiot put a bottle of water into the pringles holder on a treadmill.

 

[PaulB]

The shortest relationship I ever had began when she said to me, 'You're the biggest I've ever had' but apparently saying 'Ditto' is not the right answer.

 

[simon.r]

Just heard on R4 (News Quiz):

The problem with the proposed Trump state visit is that he's just a nouveau riche sexist, racist, millionaire. Whereas most MP's are old money sexist, racist, millionaires.

 

[postman]

I went in to Thorntons this morning.I would like some milk chocolates for my wife.Ok bring her in and i'll see what i can do.

(i might have told that one before).

 

[welsh dragon]

What's green, fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree would kill you?

A pool table.

 

[welsh dragon]

Two women talking.

Woman 1. " how is the diet going."

Woman 2. "Not good. I had eggs for breakfast".

Woman 1. " scrambled"?

Woman 2. "No. Cadbury's".

 

[Cubist]

What's green, fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree would kill you?

A pool table.

Ah yes, the late seventies silly jokes!!!!

What's white and can't climb trees? A fridge


What's blue and white and can't climb trees? Fridge in a denim jacket.

 

[welsh dragon]

Ah yes, the late seventies silly jokes!!!!

What's white and can't climb trees? A fridge


What's blue and white and can't climb trees? Fridge in a denim jacket.

Don't knock them. The old ones are often the best, but perhaps not in this case.