Any good jokes ... ?

[Toshiba Boy]

 

[FishFright]

 

[Dave7]

A guy sees an elderly man who is obviously upset so he stops to ask him what the problem was.
The man say "I'm 92 and have a 22 year old girl friend that want sex every morning, every lunch time and every night"
The younger guy asks "well, what's wrong with that"?
The old man says " I can't remember where I live".

 

[Chris S]

View attachment 768340

That happened to me. I started doing Core classes at my local gym and now I can stand up without using my hands again. This one is by Les Mills but any will do.
https://www.lesmills.com/uk/workouts/group-fitness/les-mills-core/

 

[tyred]

 

[Dave7]

I was paying for my groceries in Asda. I got my credit card ready and this very attractive cashier said "strip down facing me".
By the time I realised she meant the card it was too late.

 

[PaulB]

 

[Dave7]

I've got into a habit of stealing kitchen utensils from shops.
I know I could get in trouble but it's a whisk I'm willing to take.

 

[iandg]

A Farmer in Cornwall see's a bloke drinking from his stream & shouts, "Wozzon! Ee dun wanna be drinkin dat,
it's full of horse piss an cow dung".
The bloke says "I'm from london and just purchased a property in the village can you speak bit slower please".
The Farmer replies "If - you -use - two - hands - you - won't - spill - any"!!!!

 

[tyred]

 

[welsh dragon]

I just got myself a pet termite and I've named him Clint

Clint eats wood.

 

[mistyoptic]

 

[tyred]

The wife suggested I joined her taxidermy club.

I said stuff that!

 

[craigwend]

 

[BigSid]