Any good jokes ... ?

[Smokin Joe]

Donald Trump is scheduled to speak at the opening ceremony of the Olympics. Nervous, he asks for a teleprompter.

On the day of the speech, he takes to the podium and starts, "Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh."

An aide quickly rushes to his side and whispers, "Mr Trump, those are the Olympic rings. Your speech is below that!"

 

[midlife]

How do make a soul singer?

Put a duck in the microwave until it's Bill Withers.......

Shaun

 

[Tenacious Sloth]

George W. Bush and his support staff are watching the news when it's reported that three Brazilion aid workers have been killed in Iraq.

"Oh no! That's terrible. How Awful" says George W.

His staff are moderately surprised by how much this fairly minor news story is affecting the President, until he turns to a senior staffer and says...

" Hey Hank, remind me. How many are in a brazilion?"

 

[machew]

Last week I attended an AA meeting, and to my horror, each person present stood up and openly admitted to being an alcoholic. I'm not having these boastful drunkards repairing my car. I can only hope the RAC have more responsible employees.

 

[machew]

Reminds me of the headline when Inverness Caledonian Thistle beat Celtic

Super Caley go ballistic Celtic are atrocious.

One of the few fun things football related IMHO

 

[Smokin Joe]

Brilliant!!!

 

[benb]

I wish that old Labour Party politician had been put in charge of a weapons inspectorate, so we could have had the headline:
Foot Heads Arms Body

 

[welsh dragon]

My husband loves his six pack so much that he protects it with a layer of fat.

 

[TVC]

My husband loves his six pack so much that he protects it with a layer of fat.

I've got a six pack, it's just that I have lost the plastic bit that holds them together.

 

[Dayvo]

I've got a six pack, it's just that I have lost the plastic bit that holds them together.

Aren't they the love handles at the side?

 

[TVC]

Despite getting A-level results of A, B, B, A it seems no employer will take a chance on me.

 

[welsh dragon]

Despite getting A-level results of A, B, B, A it seems no employer will take a chance on me.

Im not surprised after telling a joke like that.

 

[Speicher]

You need at least three Bs if you want to study Beekeeping.

 

[mrcunning]

I was offered sex with a 21 year old girl today. In exchange, I was supposed to advertise some kind of bathroom cleaner. Of course I declined, because I am a person with high moral standards and strong willpower. Just as strong as Ajax, the super strong bathroom cleaner. Now available with scented lemon or vanilla.

 

[ufkacbln]

I was offered sex with a 21 year old girl today. In exchange, I was supposed to advertise some kind of bathroom cleaner. Of course I declined, because I am a person with high moral standards and strong willpower. Just as strong as Ajax, the super strong bathroom cleaner. Now available with scented lemon or vanilla.

I suppose that's a clean joke?