Uncle Drago's agony column

[classic33]

Dear Uncle Drago

I am sitting in my best clothes in wet mud in a torrential downpour in the garden. Normally despite being an otherwise intelligent human being, I ask my wife whether or not to come in out of the rain.

My wife tells me I have no common sense. I have a horrific cough and what seems to be pneumonia. My wife is not speaking to me so will not tell me either to come into the house or stay out in the garden.

Will you tell me where to go?
I. S. Wallow, Outside in Oxford.

 

[Dave7]

Just fill the hole in then. After putting his remains in it.

I want you to know..... I had no friends before I found Cycle Chat. Now I have found wonderful, kind people like yourself. Always willing to help out with good, honest, well meant suggestions. My heart is full.

 

[Drago]

Dear Uncle Drago

I am sitting in my best clothes in wet mud in a torrential downpour in the garden. Normally despite being an otherwise intelligent human being, I ask my wife whether or not to come in out of the rain.

My wife tells me I have no common sense. I have a horrific cough and what seems to be pneumonia. My wife is not speaking to me so will not tell me either to come into the house or stay out in the garden.

Will you tell me where to go?
I. S. Wallow, Outside in Oxford.

He God's man, need you even ask? The pub of course!

 

[classic33]

I want you to know..... I had no friends before I found Cycle Chat. Now I have found wonderful, kind people like yourself. Always willing to help out with good, honest, well meant suggestions. My heart is full.

Would that explain his injuries?

 

[classic33]

He God's man, need you even ask? The pub of course!

Dear Uncle Drago

Thank you for the advice given in your reply above.

Just one further question though. Would that be inside, I am in my best clothes although covered in mud, or outside?

Yours
I. S. Wallow, Outside in Oxford.

 

[Slow But Determined]

Uncle Drago.

Can you explain why when I am out cycling and I get an itch on my head it is always underneath one of the solid parts of the helmet, never the bit where there is a space to get your finger in?

 

[Drago]

Uncle Drago.

Can you explain why when I am out cycling and I get an itch on my head it is always underneath one of the solid parts of the helmet, never the bit where there is a space to get your finger in?

Ah, that's an imagined reaction on the point of the skull that the wife normally pokes repeatedly with her index finger when telling you off. Without the relentless tap tap tap the nervous system becomes confused.

 

[Dirk]

Dear Uncle Drago,
My beer hound is looking anxiously at my pint and making passive aggressive noises.
Should I buy it a half of it's own?

 

[Dave7]

Dear uncle Drago.
All my undies are in the wash. I usually have to soak them for 3 days to get the worst out before washing.
So, I have just nipped into the local Oxfam shop and bought a decent pair of Y fronts. However when I got home I found they were badly stained.
My question is....... should I wear them or go without?

 

[stephec]

Dear Uncle Drago,
My beer hound is looking anxiously at my pint and making passive aggressive noises.
Should I buy it a half of it's own?
View attachment 438877

In the good old days you could've taken an ashtray from the table and given it a little drink all of it's own.

 

[Dirk]

In the good old days you could've taken an ashtray from the table and given it a little drink all of it's own.

There's progress for ya!

 

[stephec]

There's progress for ya!

You're lucky that you can still find a pub that lets dogs in as well.

 

[classic33]

Dear Uncle Drago,
My beer hound is looking anxiously at my pint and making passive aggressive noises.
Should I buy it a half of it's own?
View attachment 438877

Why only a half pint?

https://www.etsy.com/uk/market/dog_pint_glass

 

[night cycler]

I appreciate you're the expert but I always found it easier to never match socks, that way I have an almost infinite number of non matching pairs I can wear.

Anyway back to the expert...

Does this non matching include size of said socks or just colour & pattern?

 

[Slow But Determined]

You're lucky that you can still find a pub that lets dogs in as well.

You are lucky you can still find a pub, full stop, the rate they are closing down!