Uncle Drago's agony column

[roadrash]

Dirk will see to it that his local remains open

 

[Dirk]

You're lucky that you can still find a pub that lets dogs in as well.

Never found one in Devon that didn't, apart from Wetherspoons.

 

[classic33]

Dear Uncle Drago,

I am a very heavy drinker and each day consume about twenty pints of bitter. I enjoy this and as my wife knew of my hobby when we met, she puts up with a lot from me really, but I also do the same with her.

Last night I staggered, singing loudly, up the drive and stumbled through the door, like you do, was sick on the carpet and stumbled up to bed. My wife knows I always do this.

In the middle of the night got up to go to the lavatory and accidentally urinated in my wife's wardrobe, then I trod on the cat's tail, threw it to its death out of the window, after which I fell downstairs, put some chips on to cook and forgot about them, falling asleep. Apparently the chip pan then caught fire and burned the house down.

Then I realised it was the wrong house. This has not happened before, but I feel it was a warning to me to change my ways. I am 6 foot 3 inches tall and 31 years old.

Mike Rotchburns, Bell End.

 

[roadrash]

it certainly is a warning to change your ways …...try guinness instead of bitter

 

[derrick]

Does this non matching include size of said socks or just colour & pattern?

Why would you have socks of differant size? or are you talking lengh?

 

[Dave7]

Dear Uncle Drago,

I am a very heavy drinker and each day consume about twenty pints of bitter. I enjoy this and as my wife knew of my hobby when we met, she puts up with a lot from me really, but I also do the same with her.

Last night I staggered, singing loudly, up the drive and stumbled through the door, like you do, was sick on the carpet and stumbled up to bed. My wife knows I always do this.

In the middle of the night got up to go to the lavatory and accidentally urinated in my wife's wardrobe, then I trod on the cat's tail, threw it to its death out of the window then punched my wife, after which I fell downstairs, put some chips on to cook and forgot about them, falling asleep. Apparently the chip pan then caught fire and burned the house down.

Then I realised it was the wrong house. This has not happened before, but I feel it was a warning to me to change my ways. I am 6 foot 3 inches tall and 31 years old.

Mike Rotchburns, Bell End.

You need serious help. If you throw the wrong cat out of the window you have a problem.

 

[slowmotion]

Dear Uncle Drago,

I am a very heavy drinker and each day consume about twenty pints of bitter. I enjoy this and as my wife knew of my hobby when we met, she puts up with a lot from me really, but I also do the same with her.

Last night I staggered, singing loudly, up the drive and stumbled through the door, like you do, was sick on the carpet and stumbled up to bed. My wife knows I always do this.

In the middle of the night got up to go to the lavatory and accidentally urinated in my wife's wardrobe, then I trod on the cat's tail, threw it to its death out of the window then punched my wife, after which I fell downstairs, put some chips on to cook and forgot about them, falling asleep. Apparently the chip pan then caught fire and burned the house down.

Then I realised it was the wrong house. This has not happened before, but I feel it was a warning to me to change my ways. I am 6 foot 3 inches tall and 31 years old.

Mike Rotchburns, Bell End.

Did this pitiful downward spiral start when you decided to become a vegan?

 

[Drago]

He's a vegan? Ye God's above, does the man have no shame?!

 

[twentysix by twentyfive]

Dear Uncle Drago,

I am a very heavy drinker and each day consume about twenty pints of bitter. I enjoy this and as my wife knew of my hobby when we met, she puts up with a lot from me really, but I also do the same with her.

Last night I staggered, singing loudly, up the drive and stumbled through the door, like you do, was sick on the carpet and stumbled up to bed. My wife knows I always do this.

In the middle of the night got up to go to the lavatory and accidentally urinated in my wife's wardrobe, then I trod on the cat's tail, threw it to its death out of the window then punched my wife, after which I fell downstairs, put some chips on to cook and forgot about them, falling asleep. Apparently the chip pan then caught fire and burned the house down.

Then I realised it was the wrong house. This has not happened before, but I feel it was a warning to me to change my ways. I am 6 foot 3 inches tall and 31 years old.

Mike Rotchburns, Bell End.

No wonder you get the numbers wrong in the "Count to 100 in Pictures" thread

 

[classic33]

Did this pitiful downward spiral start when you decided to become a vegan?

Not really, someone suggested I find a hobby.

 

[Ming the Merciless]

I went out on a 120km ride today and did not stop at a pub. Is there still hope I can get over this recent illness?

 

[perplexed]

Dear Uncle Drago,
My beer hound is looking anxiously at my pint and making passive aggressive noises.
Should I buy it a half of it's own?
View attachment 438877

Gawd, that carpet looks loppy... I cannot understand for the life of me why pubs have carpets.

 

[classic33]

Gawd, that carpet looks loppy... I cannot understand for the life of me why pubs have carpets.

It helps hides the trapdoor, where awkward customers get placed. Softens the sound as well.

 

[LeetleGreyCells]

It helps hides the trapdoor, where awkward customers get placed. Softens the sound as well.

You’re only left with the squelch, squelch sound of moist carpet from all the quaffing.

 

[Lee_M]

Does this non matching include size of said socks or just colour & pattern?

I only have one size of sock, only really old men and school girls wear long socks dont they?