Uncle Drago's agony column

[Drago]

Uncle Drago,

What is the best way to clean my helmet?

Angle grinder with a brass wire cup brush attachment.

 

[Archie_tect]

Dear uncle Drago

What will the outcome of the Brexit negotiations mean for my hamster ?

thanks

Rooooster

Does he like strawberries?

 

[Threevok]

Dear Uncle Drago

After reading another thread on the subject, my friend is confused over the difference between a Biological Woman and a Non-Biological Woman

There's an obvious sexist laundry joke he would like to use, but doesn't want to come across as a bit of a twat

Can you help ?

 

[User6179]

There's an obvious sexist laundry joke he would like to use, but doesn't want to come across as a bit of a twat

Sometimes the ship has already sailed

 

[Dave7]

Uncle Drago. I have a REAL problem. Unlike @classic33 and others with petty problems like cheating wives.
Allow me to explain.
The old guy from next door has been a real pain in the arris for many reasons.
TV on SOOO loud til 3.00 in the morning.
Yappy dogs 24/7
His hearing aid is broken so I hear him shouting over the TV.
His hoover was on all hours of day & night.
Final straw was when he came banging on my door complaining about my grass being too green.
So......
My question is....... what do I do with his body ? Its making the garden look very untidy.

 

[classic33]

Uncle Drago. I have a REAL problem. Unlike @classic33 and others with petty problems like cheating wives.
Allow me to explain.
The old guy from next door has been a real pain in the arris for many reasons.
TV on SOOO loud til 3.00 in the morning.
Yappy dogs 24/7
His hearing aid is broken so I hear him shouting over the TV.
His hoover was on all hours of day & night.
Final straw was when he came banging on my door complaining about my grass being too green.
So......
My question is....... what do I do with his body ? Its making the garden look very untidy.

Any roadworks near you?

 

[Andy_R]

Dear Aunty Drago

I don't have a question, rather a suggestion.

If your column is causing you agony, then a visit to this webpage https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/priapism-painful-erections/ may offer some suggestions for relief. Hope you get better soon.

Anon

 

[Dave7]

Any roadworks near you?

Fortunately not. Why do you ask?

 

[Drago]

You lot crease me up. I've almost inhaled an entire cup of,tea laughing at your questions!

 

[Dave7]

Dear Aunty Drago

I don't have a question, rather a suggestion.

If your column is causing you agony, then a visit to this webpage https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/priapism-painful-erections/ may offer some suggestions for relief. Hope you get better soon.

Anon

I was really worried after reading that. I remember an erection that lasted longer than two.
Then I realised it said two hours not minutes

 

[classic33]

Fortunately not. Why do you ask?

Make it look as though he'd fallen into them. Extra injury marks may cover existing ones.

 

[Dave7]

You lot crease me up. I've almost inhaled an entire cup of,tea laughing at your questions!

Are you suggesting we should not trust your advice ?

 

[Dave7]

Make it look as though he'd fallen into them. Extra injury marks may cover existing ones.

How would that explain his very swollen boll*x and his head being seperate from his body.

 

[Edwardoka]

Dear Uncle Drago,

My friend invited me round for an evening of activities, he said he wanted me to help him with something involving underpants.
I thought he meant a practical joke or something, but when I arrived he suggested something entirely inappropriate involving urine; I left immediately and haven't spoken to him since.
Should I report him to someone?

Best wishes
Darren "Daz" Wizzingstock

 

[classic33]

How would that explain his very swollen boll*x and his head being seperate from his body.

Just fill the hole in then. After putting his remains in it.