True Facts About Chris Rea
- Thread starter Drago
- Start date
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OP
OP
Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
Chris Rea invented the strait jacket as a warm bandage garment for those with cold bedrooms.
DRM
Guru
- Location
- West Yorks
Chris Rea recently took the Turdis back to Berlin, 30th April, so he could record events unfolding as WW2 finally came to an end in Europe, as usual an almighty auberge field explosion shook the Fuhrerbunker to its core, what happened inside was that a box of cyanide vials fell to the floor, one of them dripped into Eva Brauns coffee, and Blondie the beloved Fuhrer Mutt licked some cyanide spillage up, as this was going on Adolf was putting his pistol back together after cleaning it, and had just reloaded it, the pistol went off as he was admiring his handy work, so that Adolf, Eva and Blondie all died, bringing the war in Europe to a close, as the bodies of Adolf and Eva were brought outside another huge auberge field flame incinerated the corpses, a verdict of suicide was promoted, yet we now know what really occurred
lazybloke
Ginger biscuits and cheddar
- Location
- Leafy Surrey
Everyone loves Chris Rea, especially the man himself.
That's why he never gives away his last Rolo.
That's why he never gives away his last Rolo.
OP
OP
Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
Chris Rea can't help acting upon Impulse. Whenever his nose detects a laydee wearing the eponymous body spray he gives them flowers.
lazybloke
Ginger biscuits and cheddar
- Location
- Leafy Surrey
Chris Rea happens after a Badedas bath!
OP
OP
Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
Wagon Wheels are not getting smaller.
Chris Rea is getting bigger.
Chris Rea is getting bigger.
OP
OP
Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
I'm thinking of srwrting a new photo thread...
Your Bike in Front of Chris Rea.
Your Bike in Front of Chris Rea.
Dogtrousers
Kilometre nibbler
I tried that, but he wouldn't tolerate the idea of being behind a bike. All I could get were pictures of Chris Rea in front of my bike
Ming the Merciless
There is no mercy
- Location
- Inside my skull
Your bike in front of the Turdis
OP
OP
Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
Chris Rea is endorsing Kamala Trump in the US election because or their policy of tax breaks for beards.
Ming the Merciless
There is no mercy
- Location
- Inside my skull
Chris Rea does it in the goatee position
Dogtrousers
Kilometre nibbler
Chris Rea and Thibaut Pinot are pen pals. Thibaut sends Chris bundles of fine silky goat hair for making false beards. Chris sends Thibaut cassette tapes of songs about disappointment and underachievement.
grldtnr
Über Member
Yeah! I can see you flushed with success with that one!
How many pumps of the handle before and after?
OP
OP
Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
The Northern Lights is actually the unregulated Auberge Field of Chris Rea's TURDIS interacting with particles of Eric Pickle's flatulence in the Earth's atmosphere.
