Seevio
Guru
- Location
- South Glos
True Facts About Chris Rea
- Thread starter Drago
- Start date
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OP
OP
Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
It's well known that Jimmy Savile cheated when running marathons for charity, but until now no one knew exactly how.
He'd nip down a side street where Chris Rea would be waiting in the TURDIS to give him a lift to the finish line.
Since it came out that Savile was not a terribly nice chap Rea went back in time and left a newspaper from 2013 on the desk of the editor of the Daily Mail.
He'd nip down a side street where Chris Rea would be waiting in the TURDIS to give him a lift to the finish line.
Since it came out that Savile was not a terribly nice chap Rea went back in time and left a newspaper from 2013 on the desk of the editor of the Daily Mail.
OP
OP
Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
Chris Rea appeared on Parkinson alongside Rod Hull and Emu.
Strait laced Rea was most annoyed at Emu attacking Parky so he punched out the wayward bird, rendering it unconscious.
Rod Hull phoned Rea to complain after the show, and Rea responded by using the flying TURDIS to knock Hull from the roof of his house.
Strait laced Rea was most annoyed at Emu attacking Parky so he punched out the wayward bird, rendering it unconscious.
Rod Hull phoned Rea to complain after the show, and Rea responded by using the flying TURDIS to knock Hull from the roof of his house.
OP
OP
Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
Chris Rea, ever the practical joker, was booked to appear on a TV interview with Oliver Reed. Rea went via thr duty free store and parked the TURDIS crammed full of Scrumpy Jack's in Reed's dressing room, with predicatable results.
Dogtrousers
Kilometre nibbler
Chris Rea tucks his vest into his underpants
OP
OP
Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
We all know there are 4 combinations of wear to get the most use out of our Y fronts. Front, back to front, inside out front, inside out back to front.
It's rumoured that Chris Rea knows of a mythical 5th combination, knowledge gained from a TURDIS visit to druids in Glasgow way back in 1600BC.
It's rumoured that Chris Rea knows of a mythical 5th combination, knowledge gained from a TURDIS visit to druids in Glasgow way back in 1600BC.
DRM
Guru
- Location
- West Yorks
In a recent shock reveal, it has been found that the ABBA hologram show is actually a real ABBA, concert, as Chris Rea is responsible for taking the Time Transit back to Gothenburg in 1976, this means he can pick up the band & all their gear, bring them to current times, do the gig and get them back in time for tea, all 5 people are happy with the arrangement as the public can’t get enough of the show,& the money is literally flying in, Chris has told them to give him a slap if he becomes as controlling as Colonel Tom Parker
OP
OP
Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
Chris Rea is the secret to Ronnie Wood's longevity.
Every time Wood dies our man Rea pops back in the TURDIS tom1971 and returns with a fresh one. The repeated disappearance of Wood caused his best friend Rod Stewart to cry for months, leaving him with his trademark husky voice.
Every time Wood dies our man Rea pops back in the TURDIS tom1971 and returns with a fresh one. The repeated disappearance of Wood caused his best friend Rod Stewart to cry for months, leaving him with his trademark husky voice.
craigwend
Grimpeur des terrains plats
Dogtrousers
Kilometre nibbler
Chris Rea can divide by zero with no problem.
OP
OP
Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
Chris Rea is head of the Yakuza. He wears a prosthetic little finger to hide his true identity.
DRM
Guru
- Location
- West Yorks
Chris Rea has a new project, a remake of Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, where the Time Transit will be the star, Chitty Chitty Bang Van, in order to make the film stand out, he has been out in the Turdis recruiting famous actors of the past, Chris will be Caractacus Rea, and he has lined up 1950’s Diana Dors as Truly Scrumptious, Alf Garnett as his dad, Grandpa Rea, and Brian Blessed as Lord Scrumptious, however the parts of Baron and Baroness Bomburst have caused huge problems, as somehow both Adolf Hitler & Benito Mussolini had found out about the film due to various time travel incursions into WW2, and both wanted the part, accompanied by Eva Braun and Rachele Guidi respectively as the Baroness, believing it would improve their public image, this lead to a huge fall out where Benito told Adolf to get out of Italy, and changed sides to the Allies, and in further controversy he has cast Jacob Rees Mogg as the kid catcher, and Roy “Chubby” Brown as the toy maker, he is also hoping to use the Turdis to send Alf Garnett off to Vulgaria singing the song Posh (plastic outside shoot house). Chris is hoping to have the final cast members on board soon, and the script and screen play finalised
lazybloke
Ginger biscuits and cheddar
- Location
- Leafy Surrey
twentysix by twentyfive
Clinging on tightly
- Location
- Over the Hill
Chris Rea held the world title for wearing the muckiest Y fronts until knocked off the top spot by some upstart from Poshshire
grldtnr
Über Member
Is there no end to this man's depravity, not only indulging in beastialty ,but with a paying crowd as well !!!
P.S. note I have been carefully not to name anyone in particular, for fear of being sued for defamation, but it's a certain bet as to whom I am implying.
After all it is the Real true things about a northern muso from Middlesbrough.
