True Facts About Chris Rea

[Drago]

P.S. note I have been carefully not to name anyone in particular

You told us down the pub it was Chris Rea!

You told us that the obelisk in the film 2001 was an unscheduled appearance of Chris Rea in his TURDIS. Kubrick was so impressed he kept it in the final print.

The bit with the apes using the bones as weapons was the actors driven into a frenzy by the Auberge Field.

 

[grldtnr]

You told us down the pub it was Chris Rea!

You told us that the obelisk in the film 2001 was an unscheduled appearance of Chris Rea in his TURDIS. Kubrick was so impressed he kept it in the final print.

The bit with the apes using the bones as weapons was the actors driven into a frenzy by the Auberge Field.

All this is correct, but the enraged bit with the Gorillas and bones, is coz some clumsy chump trashed the tea wagon, by landing a portaloo on it
....only it was the TURDIS.

 

[Dogtrousers]

Chris Rea speaks louder than words

 

[lazybloke]

Chris Rea knows the fate of Schrodinger's cat without looking in the box.

 

[Drago]

Chris Rea can complete the Rubik's Cube using only his beard.

 

[lazybloke]

Chris Rea can solve 3-body gravitational equations using only a fisher price 'My first calculator'

 

[Dogtrousers]

Chris Rea can construct a square of the same area as a given circle using only compass and straight edge.

 

[Drago]

Chris Rea played all seven lead parts in The Magnificent Seven.

 

[lazybloke]

Chris Rea is undeniably, "the one and only", and he knows it.

There's been an intense rivalry with Chesney Hawkes since 1991.

 

[DRM]

Following the success of the Chris Rea ABBA Revival show, he has gone back to visit Rory Gallagher with a view to recording an EP with the Irish Guitar wizard, the lead track is to be Souped Up Ford with the Time Transit starring in the promotional video

 

[Drago]

Chris Rea refuses to eat Snickers.

Whenever he goes back in time he buys a box of Marathon bars. Interestingly, whenever he flushes the TURDIS toilet the poo from this historic snack materialises in the time from which it originated.

 

[DRM]

He also enjoys a Topic Bar, but his first version of the advert song was rejected, apparently “What has a hazelnut in every bite, Squirrel Shoot” was against ASA regulations

 

[Drago]

Chris Rea's seat belt campaign slogan, "tough s**t, every trip" was deemed catchy but inappropriate.

The slogan was changed to "clunk click, every trip" and Jimmy Savile was hired to give some real gravitas to the campaign.

 

[Dogtrousers]

Chris Rea refuses to eat Snickers.

Whenever he goes back in time he buys a box of Marathon bars. Interestingly, whenever he flushes the TURDIS toilet the poo from this historic snack materialises in the time from which it originated.

Where did you read that? Don't believe everything you read on the internet, like err...

The name change of Marathon to Snickers was pivotal for Chris Rea. He ate so many Marathon bars that his health was beginning to suffer. But when the name was changed he found them repulsive and hasn't touched one since.

 

[grldtnr]

He also enjoys a Topic Bar, but his first version of the advert song was rejected, apparently “What has a hazelnut in every bite, Squirrel Shoot” was against ASA regulations

He can't eat walnut whips ' , without Handing madame Cythina Payne many Luncheon vouchers ( LV ), and being administered by said madam Whiplash, in tastefull mink lined hand cuffs and being 'corrected' with a studded leather paddle,
It's one of his guilty pleasures he has to endure, for being a rogue time traveller