True Facts About Chris Rea

[grldtnr]

Due to his misuse of the TURDIS, Chris tried to get the lead of Jack Ford on 'When the boat comes in', this went to James Bolam, of course due to his more accurate authentic Geordie Lad accent, .this of course so enraged Wor' Chris that he vowed never to watch anything that James Bolam has acted in since, such is his bitterness,.
He has even gone so far as to trash every Postie bike, by materialising his mystic portorloo on top of , mashing them to bits ,on account of James Bolams' portrayal of the 'Missing Postman' a role he coverted so much,as he thought he had just the right amount of pathos for the role, this is why the GPO stopped using postie bikes,as Chris trashed so many

 

[Drago]

In the opening titles of 70s hard-man drama, The Professionals, the clip of a Ford Granada bursting through a plate glass window is actually Chris Rea's TURDIS in cloaking mode.

Rea was a big fan of 70's tough guy TV drama and was thrilled to bits to be a tiny part of the show.

Not only that, but in series 3 he had a bit part as "dark skinned bad guy terrorist type #4" in the episode Dark Skinned Bad Guy Terrorist Types Conspire to do Something Bad.

 

[Ming the Merciless]

Scholars are puzzled by this renaissance painting. But we know who it is.

 

[lazybloke]

Chris Rea was a favourite presenter on beloved children's TV show "Play School", although to avoid affecting his burgeoning music career he always used the pseudonym "Humpty". The series ended under a cloud following allegations of improper conduct between Humpty and fellow star, Hamble.

Scholars believe the famous Play School clock and journeys through various shaped "windows" were inspired by the operation of Chris Rea's time machine.

 

[twentysix by twentyfive]

Chris Rea's time machine is exactly correct twice in every 24 hours.

 

[Drago]

Famous screen scientist, Bernard Quatermass, was originally conceived to investigate the many mysterious sightings of what we know to be Chris Rea's TURDIS.

 

[Moon bunny]

Chris Rea is, at this very moment, up on the roof of York Minster, the Archbishop is trying to lure him down with a ham and pineapple pizza.

 

[lazybloke]

Chris Rea is the founder the UK 'Cagney & Lacey fan club'.

He can do a passable impression of Harvey Lacey, and secretly wishes he'd been in the cast. It's likely he'll use his time machine to do something about it.

 

[grldtnr]

Well he missed out on 'When the boat comes in' , little or no chance with Cagney & Lacey'

 

[Drago]

Chris Rea has vowed never to leave the TURDIS unattended again after a visit to wartime Berlin , whereupon he returned to find Hitler had built a bunker inside it.

 

[stephec]

Chris Rea is thinking of converting the turdis to hybrid power in an attempt to reduce the amount of benefit in kind tax that he has to pay on it.

 

[Drago]

Chris Rea's TURDIS is in council tax band F.

 

[grldtnr]

Chris Rea has vowed never to leave the TURDIS unattended again after a visit to wartime Berlin , whereupon he returned to find Hitler had built a bunker inside it.

Did Rea get done for illegally bringing immigrants... Things as they are at the moment, it's an offence to bring someone as a stowaway,regardless if you knew or not.

 

[DRM]

Chris Rea was telling his mates in the Rolling Stones about the Turdis, and all the things he's seen through history, of course Mick Jagger and the rest of the band thought he was telling porkies, so Chris got in the Turdis and went back to 1967 & to prove it taking a copy of Hackney Diamonds with him, he told them all about seeing Jesus on the cross, the German Blitzkrieg, watching what happened to Tzar Nicholas II, and the Hundred Years Wars, as well as all the Hippies going to Bombay, This of course blew the bands mind, Chris told them that the heat in the Turdis makes him go bright red. and with his goatee he looks like Lucifer, this inspired the song Sympathy for The Devil, that appeared on the 1968 album Beggars Banquet

 

[grldtnr]

Seems someone is more than 'Stoned' if they believe that little "porkie"..,...