True Facts About Chris Rea

[Dogtrousers]

Chris Rea and Bill Oddie actually designed the game Jenga together but they failed to patent it. Chris is relaxed about it, in an easy come easy go way. Bill is incredibly bitter and believes that his idea was stolen and has been known to spend three hours explaining to terrified strangers how unfair it is.

 

[slow horse]

Yeah right

My friend gets overstimulated at such gatherings.

I was in another town today and Chris Rea got on the same bus. He pushed a pensioner out of the way to grab a seat, after kicking her guide dog. I know we all have our bad days, but this was beyond the pale. I think few people have seen this side of him. He had to pay off a young man making a video of the incident to keep it from going viral.

 

[lazybloke]

Chris Rea was present at the assassination of JFK.

He was on the grassy knoll.

That must be true, I've read it before.

 

[Dogtrousers]

That must be true, I've read it before.
View attachment 746844

It's actually not true. Chris was, in fact, on an adjacent knoll - the greasy knoll.

 

[lazybloke]

It's actually not true. Chris was, in fact, on an adjacent knoll - the greasy knoll.

Is that next to the geesey knoll?

 

[Dogtrousers]

Is that next to the geesey knoll?
View attachment 746847

One knoll down from the gassy knoll

 

[Ming the Merciless]

That must be true, I've read it before.
View attachment 746844

He is not wrong

 

[Drago]

That must be true, I've read it before.
View attachment 746844

Damn Chris Rea and that time machine of his!

 

[stephec]

I recognised Chris Rea in a Sex Addicts Anonymous meeting where I was taking notes for a friend who couldn't make it.

Dictation?

 

[Drago]

Chris Rea bought the TURDIS on Ebay, needing as he did some cheap transport aftermhismillegal high powered WooSungManiacLoon ebike was seized by the Met.

 

[Ming the Merciless]

Chris Rea bought the TURDIS on Ebay, needing as he did some cheap transport aftermhismillegal high powered WooSungManiacLoon ebike was seized by the Met.

He bought it off some bloke called G Khan who had a 100% rating.

 

[grldtnr]

Dictation?

Nope, Dick action, BUT close!

 

[Drago]

Henry the 8th did not, as believed, have an unfortunate habit of chopping his wives heads off.

On the contrary. Rampant history buff, Chris Rea, used the TURDIS during his early ownership of rhe vehicle, to visit England during Henry's reign.

During two visits his inexperienced calibration of the Auberge Field caused the heads to fall off Anne Boleyn and Catheryn "Frankie" Howard.

 

[Ming the Merciless]

Chris did in fact join Henry’s royal court for 6 months. But Henry didn’t realise Chris was heading back to the 24th century each night and only heading back to the court once a month arriving the next morning. The length of Chris’ goatee changing each day, caused no end of court gossip.

 

[Drago]

The Elizabethan character, Edmund Blackadder II, was based upon historic sightings of Chris Rea which were recorded by William Shakespeare, a leading authority on mysterious apparition.