grldtnr
Über Member
Did Rea get done for illegally bringing immigrants... Things as they are at the moment, it's an offence to bring someone as a stowaway,regardless if you knew or not.
True Facts About Chris Rea
- Thread starter Drago
- Start date
Page may contain affiliate links. Please see terms for details.
Did Rea get done for illegally bringing immigrants... Things as they are at the moment, it's an offence to bring someone as a stowaway,regardless if you knew or not.
DRM
Guru
- Location
- West Yorks
Chris Rea was telling his mates in the Rolling Stones about the Turdis, and all the things he's seen through history, of course Mick Jagger and the rest of the band thought he was telling porkies, so Chris got in the Turdis and went back to 1967 & to prove it taking a copy of Hackney Diamonds with him, he told them all about seeing Jesus on the cross, the German Blitzkrieg, watching what happened to Tzar Nicholas II, and the Hundred Years Wars, as well as all the Hippies going to Bombay, This of course blew the bands mind, Chris told them that the heat in the Turdis makes him go bright red. and with his goatee he looks like Lucifer, this inspired the song Sympathy for The Devil, that appeared on the 1968 album Beggars Banquet
OP
OP
Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
Chris Rea's TURDIS was used by Mick Jagger to place a Mars Bar in a certain spot...
Ming the Merciless
There is no mercy
- Location
- Inside my skull
Due to a fault with the Turdis, Chris brought a lot of water back from when he was visiting the Hoover dam being constructed . He’s been releasing the excess these past few days.
Ming the Merciless
There is no mercy
- Location
- Inside my skull
Chris landed his portaloo in a field outside Barnet, just north of London. Due to another fault with the Turdis a thick fog developed. The rest is history.
In the early morning of Easter Sunday 14 April 1471, the usual nervous energy of two armies awaiting a battle was heightened by the thick fog that clung to the fields around them. Just outside Barnet, a dozen or so miles north of London, King Edward IV arranged his men to face off against his former closest ally, his first cousin, Richard Neville, Earl of Warwick, remembered now as the Kingmaker.
In the early morning of Easter Sunday 14 April 1471, the usual nervous energy of two armies awaiting a battle was heightened by the thick fog that clung to the fields around them. Just outside Barnet, a dozen or so miles north of London, King Edward IV arranged his men to face off against his former closest ally, his first cousin, Richard Neville, Earl of Warwick, remembered now as the Kingmaker.
raleighnut
Legendary Member
- Location
- One of the 'Elite'
Yep on the coffee table.
Ming the Merciless
There is no mercy
- Location
- Inside my skull
Covering up for Chris yet again.
grldtnr
Über Member
Err! Seems someone got covered, by not our anti - hero Rea.
grldtnr
Über Member
I believe what happened Chris left the fan running to cool the Auberge field , by mistake, when the pedal controls are stuck down the u- bend of the seat. They are difficult to control...... Then what happened ,the shoot hit the fan literally......
Seems to me it's idiotic to keep running this outdated BL/ Austin Rover TURDIS, he ought to look at getting a more modern Jap engineered one, all modern semi- conductors ,instead of valves and capacitors, all controlled by a big knob.....and we know who i mean.
DRM
Guru
- Location
- West Yorks
31st January 1953, the Turdis materialised over the North Sea, it then backfired with the largest Auberge field explosion to date which caused devastating floods over The Netherlands, Western Belgium, and all along the East Coast of the UK from Scotland down to Essex, this is one time trip that Chris doesn’t like to talk about
Last edited:
OP
OP
Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
Chris Rea and the malfunctioning Auberge fieldmof the TURDIS is rhe reason much of the Netherlands is below sea level,
DRM
Guru
- Location
- West Yorks
Chris Rea today returned back from another disappointing and disastrous trip in the Turdis, he deliberately went back 111 years to September 29th 1913 in order to “Have a word” with Rudolf Diesel after his 2016 Citroen C4 Picasso failed it’s MOT due to a faulty DPF, Add-Blue system errors, and poor exhaust emissions, the car cost a fortune to rectify and Chris was fuming, as the Turdis appeared over the Steamship Dresden, the Turdis coughed and blew Rudolf Diesel overboard, where sadly he drowned, and was discovered by a Belgian Sailor on another vessel, it’s long been debated wether or not Rudolf Diesel was murdered or had jumped, but the real truth will never be believed, what we do know is Diesel’s work to make a cleaner exhaust, was set back by many decades.
OP
OP
Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
The history and music buff that he is, Chris Rea went back to 1976 to watch an Elton John live show.
To avoid the crowds Chris Rea left just before the end and as the TURDIS cloaked itself and flew low across the stage towards the exit the unregulated Auberge Field burned Reg Dwight's hair to a crisp.
Since that fateful day Elton has had to wear a wig.
To avoid the crowds Chris Rea left just before the end and as the TURDIS cloaked itself and flew low across the stage towards the exit the unregulated Auberge Field burned Reg Dwight's hair to a crisp.
Since that fateful day Elton has had to wear a wig.
DRM
Guru
- Location
- West Yorks
This isn’t Elton John’s first run in with the Turdis, in 1972, it appeared over Chateau D’Herouville, France which housed the studio where Elton and Bernie Taupin were working on the album Honky Chateau, they’d just settled down to dinner after a hard days writing and recording, when a loud bang and bright flash, broke windows, wine bottles, glasses of wine and vases full of flowers that Elton had requested, Elton was recorded as saying “What the bloody hell was that“ Whilst Bernie got up with his hair and eyebrows singed and clothing blackened, just saying “Oh wow a rocket man” the following day a massive hit song was written and recorded
