Ming the Merciless
There is no mercy
- Location
- Inside my skull
Chris is also a net zero champion and engineering whizz
True Facts About Chris Rea
- Thread starter Drago
- Start date
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OP
OP
Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
Chris Rea and the poorly maintained TURDIS are responsible for the Bundefield refinery disaster.
Ming the Merciless
There is no mercy
- Location
- Inside my skull
Chris Rea is just back from Agincourt where a blast from the Turdis wiped out a large proportion of the French army. This enabled Henry and his army to retreat to Calais,
OP
OP
Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
Chris Rea, military history buff extraordinaire, nipped back to 1066 withnthe TURDIS to watch King Harold give old Frenchie a good kicking.
Unfortunately, an English arrow was deflected by the Auberge Field and struck Harold in the eye, thus changing the course of history.
Unfortunately, an English arrow was deflected by the Auberge Field and struck Harold in the eye, thus changing the course of history.
When Chris Rea was 180 years old he entered the egg and spoon race in junior school (year 9).
He was disqualified for using bluetack. His egg fell off and the bluetack was clear for all to see.
He has never forgotten it and if you listen carefully to his later music there are hidden references to why he should have used superglue.
He was disqualified for using bluetack. His egg fell off and the bluetack was clear for all to see.
He has never forgotten it and if you listen carefully to his later music there are hidden references to why he should have used superglue.
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Dogtrousers
Kilometre nibbler
Chris Rea is smaller than you imagine.
Grant Fondo
Guru
- Location
- Cheshire
Chris in 1973 during a recording session for Tubular Bells, his breakthrough album.
Ming the Merciless
There is no mercy
- Location
- Inside my skull
Chris Rea played the actor John Hurt for many years
Dogtrousers
Kilometre nibbler
Chris Rea was thrown out of the Hypnotists Society for misusing his powers.
During a stage hypnotism act in the 1980s Chris Rea hypnotised a clueless public schoolboy named Johnson making him believe that he was the British Prime Minister. Although the audience at the time found the resulting clownish idiotic performance amusing, it caused long term damage to Johnson and, it must be said, to the country.
During a stage hypnotism act in the 1980s Chris Rea hypnotised a clueless public schoolboy named Johnson making him believe that he was the British Prime Minister. Although the audience at the time found the resulting clownish idiotic performance amusing, it caused long term damage to Johnson and, it must be said, to the country.
OP
OP
Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
Chris Rea donated £80,000 worth of portaloo to Keir Starmer.
twentysix by twentyfive
Clinging on tightly
- Location
- Over the Hill
Only after he'd already filled it
Dogtrousers
Kilometre nibbler
Chris Rea has an electric collection of toenail clippers, some dating back to the 1960s when the electric toenail clipper was first invented.
lazybloke
Ginger biscuits and cheddar
- Location
- Leafy Surrey
Every time Chris Rea has an NHS healthcheck, the GP notices severe ulceration of CR's mouth.
Swabs have failed to identify any infectious agent, but a lab consultant is convinced the explanation is a brand new bacteria, previously not known to science.
Chris Rea actually knows the real cause of the ulcers but is too embarrassed to admit they are simply the effect of his pineapple chunks addiction.
Swabs have failed to identify any infectious agent, but a lab consultant is convinced the explanation is a brand new bacteria, previously not known to science.
Chris Rea actually knows the real cause of the ulcers but is too embarrassed to admit they are simply the effect of his pineapple chunks addiction.
