True Facts About Chris Rea

[DRM]

Chris Rea is an R Whites secret lemonade drinker

 

[Dogtrousers]

Chris Rea has tried but found that he didn't get an OO with Typhoo. "I must be doing something wrong" he says.

 

[Drago]

Chris Rea wrote the script for cringeworthy 70's sitcom, Love Thy Neighbour. Early drafts were used as inspiration for the film Mississippi burning.

 

[DRM]

Chris Rea regularly travels to Sunderland to purchase a Canny bag o Tudor

 

[Drago]

Chris Rea recently popped in to watch Arsenal and returned to find Keir Starmer inside the TURDIS. It seems he had mistaken it for his private box.

Rea declined to make a donation in order to get rid of the fellow and settled instead for activating the trapdoor function with key fob.

 

[DRM]

Chris Rea has been a long time researcher on BBC’s Who Do You Think You Are, TV series, by using the Turdis, he goes back in time verify that the geneological information is correct, in one yet to be aired programme, he checked up on Charles Dickens, but his appearance caused another blip in time, as Charles Dickens was researching a local businessman for his latest novel, Mr Ebenezer Scrootles, was a well known Yorkshire businessman, who was notoriously careful with cash, his partner Josiah Marley had died of hypothermia as Scrootles refused to light a fire despite it being near Christmas time, Chris Rea appeared 3x in Mr Scrootles bedroom, and for a laugh said he was the ghosts of Xmas past, present & future, unfortunately Ebenezer Scrootles went mad, but did mend his ways, Charles Dickens couldn’t believe his luck, he got one first rate story line, but did change some names for his book, and Chris Rea proved that Josiah Marley, Jacob in the book, was a distant relative of Reggae legend Bob Marley

 

[Dogtrousers]

Chris Rea used to drive a maroon Austin Allegro. Despite evidence to the contrary he described it as "A real beauty, the best car ever manufactured". When he went on to describe it as "reliable and rust proof" he had to suddenly run to the gents to extinguish his pants, which were on fire.

 

[lazybloke]

It's just been confirmed that Chris Rea will be participating in the Friday Night Ride to the Coast starting later this evening. Thanks to a cheeky sense of humour AND his time travelling TURDIS he will be waymarking every junction simultaneously as well as bring ride leader and all-upper.

At the halfway stop he'll serenade us with a medley of hits, sung in a duet with himself whilst also serving tea & cake.

He's put a lot of effort into planning all this, so we'd better pretend to like his music.

 

[Ming the Merciless]

Chris Rea won last week’s park run in South Shields

 

[Paulus]

Chris Rea wrote,"down on the beach " as a tribute to Dire Straits twisting by the pool when he was on holiday in Benidorm drinking Watneys Red Barrel with Bacardi and coke chasers.

 

[Drago]

In 1977 Elvis Presley was sat in the crapper one night reading Good Housekeeping when Cheis Rea's TURDIS materialised in Graceland.

Presley was so surprised he fell off the pan and as he went down he hit his head on the TURDIS door as it opened.

Rea immediately realised he had dropped a major historical clanger and fled the scene, leaving the crude science available to the medical examiners of the day to conclude the great songster had died as a result of a heart attack.

Rea cried for days at the knowledge he was responsible for the demise of his musical hero, and this crying session left him permanently hoarse and is responsible for his gravelly sining tones.

 

[grldtnr]

Chris Rea is an R Whites secret lemonade drinker

Probably explains why there's never any in my fridge, bloody Chris Rea keeps nicking off with it, dematerilises s in his bloody TURDIS , disguised as my Samsung walk in fridge, I put my shopping away ,then he whooshes off with it , body Tea leaf that Rea.

Chris Rea is an R Whites secret lemonade drinker

Is

 

[Dave7]

In 1991 Chris Rea tripped and banged his mouth, this resulted in a temporary speech impediment. The only 'gig' his manager could get him was singing "Cwying" in an episode of Fools and Horses.
For that he was paid the sum of £5.00 and his manager kept 90% of that.
He said he was happy with that as he got a cuddle off Rachel.

 

[PeteXXX]

No one has ever bought suits or spectacles for Chris Rea.
Or his wife...

 

[grldtnr]

Here's an actual true Chris Rea factoid
He is a type 1 diabetic , after major illness he needed surgery, to his liver & pancreas ,as a result of developing cancer,.
So ,yes he is human after all