True Facts About Chris Rea

[grldtnr]

Chris Rea has an eclectic collection of toe nail clippings, some dating back to when his 19,......where this going I don't know, but someone will make something on of it........cheesy feet likely!

 

[Dogtrousers]

Chris Rea has an electric collection of toenail clippers, some dating back to the 1960s when the electric toenail clipper was first invented.

 

[lazybloke]

Every time Chris Rea has an NHS healthcheck, the GP notices severe ulceration of CR's mouth.

Swabs have failed to identify any infectious agent, but a lab consultant is convinced the explanation is a brand new bacteria, previously not known to science.

Chris Rea actually knows the real cause of the ulcers but is too embarrassed to admit they are simply the effect of his pineapple chunks addiction.

 

[Drago]

The hole in the ozone layer is due to Chris Rea's rampant use of his time machine.

 

[grldtnr]

Chris wonders what Lewis Collins would do ,if his TURDIS broke down every five minutes?
Hang on it's a time machine, it don't matter, as long as it works

 

[slow horse]

Chris Rea was going to be best man at my wedding, but we fell out over some money he owed me (I'm normally the forgiving sort – it's hard when you watch someone plead poverty then start buying pints for everybody). This was before he made it big. Now he sarcastically sends me a pound every year on my anniversary.

 

[Seevio]

Last time he was in a bad mood, Chris Rea swore at a girl guide and tripped up a nun.

 

[PeteXXX]

Chris Rea failed the Cycling Proficiency exam for turning up on electric bike.

 

[Dogtrousers]

Chris Rea sabotaged Remco's power meter

 

[grldtnr]

Chris is an avid Bodger the badger follower, he can't get enough of mashed potatoes, always has a pot of spuds on the go.

 

[Dirk]

Chris Rea just announced that he won't be going home for Christmas this year as his mobility scooter is stuck in a van on the M25.

 

[Drago]

Chris Rea's middle name is Shirley.

 

[Dogtrousers]

Chris Rea's middle name is Shirley.

Shirley not

Chris Rea's middle name is Mildred

 

[twentysix by twentyfive]

Shirley Mildred obvs

 

[Drago]

Chris Rea only ever watches repeats on TV. He says things are always better second time around.