True Facts About Chris Rea

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Ming the Merciless

There is no mercy
Location
Inside my skull
Chris is also a net zero champion and engineering whizz

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OP
OP
Drago

Drago

Legendary Member
Chris Rea and the poorly maintained TURDIS are responsible for the Bundefield refinery disaster.
 
OP
OP
Drago

Drago

Legendary Member
Chris Rea, military history buff extraordinaire, nipped back to 1066 withnthe TURDIS to watch King Harold give old Frenchie a good kicking.

Unfortunately, an English arrow was deflected by the Auberge Field and struck Harold in the eye, thus changing the course of history.
 

Dave7

Legendary Member
Location
Cheshire
When Chris Rea was 180 years old he entered the egg and spoon race in junior school (year 9).
He was disqualified for using bluetack. His egg fell off and the bluetack was clear for all to see.
He has never forgotten it and if you listen carefully to his later music there are hidden references to why he should have used superglue.
 
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Ming the Merciless

There is no mercy
Location
Inside my skull
Chris Rea played the actor John Hurt for many years

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Dogtrousers

Kilometre nibbler
Chris Rea was thrown out of the Hypnotists Society for misusing his powers.

During a stage hypnotism act in the 1980s Chris Rea hypnotised a clueless public schoolboy named Johnson making him believe that he was the British Prime Minister. Although the audience at the time found the resulting clownish idiotic performance amusing, it caused long term damage to Johnson and, it must be said, to the country.
 

grldtnr

Über Member
Chris Rea has an eclectic collection of toe nail clippings, some dating back to when his 19,......where this going I don't know, but someone will make something on of it........cheesy feet likely!
 

Dogtrousers

Kilometre nibbler
Chris Rea has an electric collection of toenail clippers, some dating back to the 1960s when the electric toenail clipper was first invented.
 

lazybloke

Ginger biscuits and cheddar
Location
Leafy Surrey
Every time Chris Rea has an NHS healthcheck, the GP notices severe ulceration of CR's mouth.

Swabs have failed to identify any infectious agent, but a lab consultant is convinced the explanation is a brand new bacteria, previously not known to science.

Chris Rea actually knows the real cause of the ulcers but is too embarrassed to admit they are simply the effect of his pineapple chunks addiction.
 
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