True Facts About Chris Rea

[twentysix by twentyfive]

Chris Rea thinks he discovered winter. He's wrong as it was invented by Santa as a "Dragon's Den" idea.

 

[Moon bunny]

Chris Rea, Rupert Bear and my worse half are in the shed at the bottom of my garden, with a strange glow through the window.

Anyone know what this means? It’s suddenly appeared on the shed door.
.

 

[Seevio]

The song "Purple rain" was written after a night of unusual passions involving Chris Rea and a LOT of beetroot.

 

[Drago]

Despite he fact that he never even bothered to turn up, Chris Rea still beat Kamala Harris at a debate.

 

[classic33]

Remains at the top.

 

[Dogtrousers]

Chris Rea has recently run into financial difficulties after apparently spending the bulk of his fortune on Search Engine Optimisation consultants in an attempt to manipulate the Google results for "facts about Chris Rea"

 

[Drago]

This winter will see Chris Rea burn his beard to keep warm. Previously he'd withdraw the winter fuel payment from the bank and pile up the bricks of notes in the hearth in lieu of firewood.

 

[Ming the Merciless]

The dates of Chris Rea’s latest tour have been announced

18th June 1815 Waterloo
17th January 1601 Portobello
11th July 1302 Flaunders
…

 

[Drago]

Dr Nick Riviera on The Simpsons was inspired by Chris Rea.

 

[grldtnr]

View attachment 744923
Remains at the top.

My gawd ,what have we done? We've made a monster popular!
Sorry Chris , for we know what we do , but can't give a toss!
See us on the road to hell......where is that anyway

 

[classic33]

My gawd ,what have we done? We've made a monster popular!
Sorry Chris , for we know what we do , but can't give a toss!
See us on the road to hell......where is that anyway

Depends on which Hell you're headed to.

 

[Drago]

Chris Rea dated Diane Abbott, but the relationship abruptly ended when she forgot who he was.

 

[DRM]

Chris Rea did join the French Foreign Legion in the mid 1970’s, he is a fluent French speaker now, and it’s believed he saw action in Zaire, and Peacekeeping operations in Lebanon with the U.N, where a fragile peace was kept as local insurgents were told in no uncertain terms that he would be out singing many of his various hits all day long until well after bedtime, in recent interview he confirmed that many men become Legionnaires in order to forget, when asked does that include you he said yes, and it works I’ll be b*ggered if I can remember what it was I went to forget

 

[lazybloke]

Chris Rea is interested in buying the newly available Mucky Mansion, and also wants to buy a pink Range Rover for the video of his forthcoming re-release of Driving Home for Christmas, which will be a duet with Timmy Mallet.

 

[Drago]

Chris Rea has been at it changing history again. He used his time machine to go back to Rorkes Drift in 1880, and instead of singing Men of Harlech at the Zulus history now records that they sang Fool (if You Think it's Over) at them.