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Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
Post of the day right there.
True Facts About Chris Rea
- Thread starter Drago
- Start date
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Post of the day right there.
OP
OP
Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
Chris Rea, rabid military history buff, used the TURDIS to visit Wolf's Lair in 1944.
A backfire of the Auberge Field caused an almighty explosion which the Fuhrer was lucky to survive. Rea quickly dematerialised before any witnesses could spot him, and the blame fell squarely upon Colonel Von Stauffenboug, the famous Jew Basher of Jena.
The poor colonel, pleading his innocence to the end, was executed, and thus Rea inadvertently ridded Hitler of one of his most fanatical officers, shortening the war by two years.
A backfire of the Auberge Field caused an almighty explosion which the Fuhrer was lucky to survive. Rea quickly dematerialised before any witnesses could spot him, and the blame fell squarely upon Colonel Von Stauffenboug, the famous Jew Basher of Jena.
The poor colonel, pleading his innocence to the end, was executed, and thus Rea inadvertently ridded Hitler of one of his most fanatical officers, shortening the war by two years.
DRM
Guru
- Location
- West Yorks
Chris Rea travelled back to September 8th 1900, appearing over Galveston, Texas, the spin of the Time Machines arrival followed by three huge backfires in quick succession created a massive storm and a 140 mph tornado, that destroyed the island, demolishing 3600 houses and 600 businesses, leaving debris strewn over 1900 acres, between 6-8000 people perished, the governor of Texas sent a posse out to find the culprit, and there is still a live Wanted Dead or Alive warrant out on Chris, he mentioned his trip to Jon BonJovi who was inspired to write the hit song Wanted Dead or Alive
OP
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Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
Chris Rea, an avid aviation geek, used the TURDIS to visit the 1973 Paris air show.
In an attempt to stay anonymous he dematerialised in a cloud. Nevertheless, the pilot of the Tupolev Tu-144 spotted the TURDIS and took emergency action to avoid a collision. Sadly this overloaded the airframe, causing the 144 to break up in flight and crash.
In an attempt to stay anonymous he dematerialised in a cloud. Nevertheless, the pilot of the Tupolev Tu-144 spotted the TURDIS and took emergency action to avoid a collision. Sadly this overloaded the airframe, causing the 144 to break up in flight and crash.
rogerzilla
Legendary Member
David Lynch is directing a film about the life of Chris Rea. It will include a dwarf driving a Caterham Seven, a talking parmo, and a dimly-lit scene with Chris and twelve topless strippers against a red velvet backdrop.
OP
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Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
Chris Rea is an inveterate prankster. He and the TURDIS are responsible for the Roswell incident and every single sigthing of Nessie.
Bonefish Blues
Banging donk
- Location
- 52 Festive Road
Rea was god's inspiration for the aubergine.
OP
OP
Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
Due to his rampant misuse of his time machine, Chris Rea no longer knows how old he really is.
Illaveago
Guru
- Location
- Chippenham,Wiltshire.
Chris Rea was the actual person who posed for the Dutch painting "The Laughing Cavalier". Not many people know this and don't realise that this is how Chris likes to dress at home .
OP
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Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
Thanks to his time machine Chris Rea dated Mona Lisa for a while. Early sketches had her smoking an Embassy No10.
Illaveago
Guru
- Location
- Chippenham,Wiltshire.
Chris Rea has been a long time fan of Sylvester Stallone and frequently goes to Rocky Horror shows hoping to see him among the cast .
Illaveago
Guru
- Location
- Chippenham,Wiltshire.
Chris was once 24 hours from Tulsa but doesn't like to talk about it .
OP
OP
Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
Chris Rea, Jim Steinman and Mest Loaf were good friends.
After one boozy session with the pomp rockers Rea went razzing off in the TURDIS at warp speed, inspiring Steinman to write Bat Out of Hell.
After one boozy session with the pomp rockers Rea went razzing off in the TURDIS at warp speed, inspiring Steinman to write Bat Out of Hell.
In 1972, a crack commando was sent to prison by a military court for a crime he didn't commit. This man promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Los Angeles underground. Today, still wanted by the government he survives as a soldier of fortune. If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find him....maybe you can hire Chris Rea."
