True Facts About Chris Rea

[grldtnr]

I had a text message , from Chris Rea, he thinks this thread is getting Preposterous,with all of what has been said about him.
He didn't seem happy at all, maybe because I blocked him as a scammer, which is only partially true, but then the same can be said of this thread.
Bob Mortimer says 'its all a lie!' ,now we all know how he has a surreal relationship to the truth.
What I want to know is how did Chris get my number, did Bob Mortimer give it to him?

 

[Drago]

When Chris Rea goes camping he uses his beard as a tent.

 

[Drago]

Chris Rea just won the jet boat race in the Dartmouth Regatta. He was later DQd because he wasn't in a boat

Post of the day right there!

 

[craigwend]

Hidden away in the secret vaults of the Vatican…

In the beginning when God created the heavens and the earth, the earth was a formless void and darkness covered the face of the deep, while a wind from God swept over the face of the waters. Then God said, "Let there be Chris Rea"; and there was Chris Rea...

 

[raleighnut]

Hidden away in the secret vaults of the Vatican…

In the beginning when God created the heavens and the earth, the earth was a formless void and darkness covered the face of the deep, while a wind from God swept over the face of the waters. Then God said, "Let there be Chris Rea"; and there was Chris Rea...

Was that after he created Keef.

 

[Dogtrousers]

Chris Rea is partial to tinned Frankfurters. He keeps a box of tins under the bed so he has easy access to a comforting snack if he wakes up from a bad dream.

 

[grldtnr]

I was going write something rude, but we've dissed Chris enough as it is!

 

[Drago]

Chris Rea is mentioned in the bible, Genesis 4:2.

"And lo, Chris Rea went forth into the garden of Gethsemane, and lo! He did return in a time machine!"

 

[Ming the Merciless]

Chris Rea has a long running feud with Tom Jones over who has the most ridiculous beard.

 

[Gwylan]

Hidden away in the secret vaults of the Vatican…

In the beginning when God created the heavens and the earth, the earth was a formless void and darkness covered the face of the deep, while a wind from God swept over the face of the waters. Then God said, "Let there be Chris Rea"; and there was Chris Rea...

That's in the Apocrypha? Not many copies available.

 

[Drago]

Lee Marvin downloaded a Chris Rea voice onto his sat nav.

 

[Seevio]

Lee Marvin downloaded a Chris Rea voice onto his sat nav.

This was all well and good until Mr Marvin found out that regardless what location he entered, every December he would end up getting directed to Middlesbrough.

 

[Drago]

The observant among you will notice that Chris Rea, beloved gravel voiced warbler, now has a shorter beard than in past years.

This is due to his beard being badly scorched by the SAS at the Iranian Embassy siege.

 

[Illaveago]

Chris Rea often gets confused with Ricky Tomlinson and receives sackfuls of his fan mail each week. Poor Chris now just signs his photos Love Ricky and sends them back.

 

[Drago]

Margaret Thatcher was a huge fan of Chris Rea, even going as far as sending the paras into battle in the Falklands with Fool (if You Think Its Over) blasting from loudspeakers to inspire the British and strike fear into the hearts of the Argentinian conscripts.

She was enchanted by the Road to Hell and had the M25 constructed to the specifications described in the song.