Illaveago
Guru
- Location
- Chippenham,Wiltshire.
Chris Rea was just about to announce a comeback tour with his identical triplets but had the headlines stolen by 2 other brothers.
True Facts About Chris Rea
- Thread starter Drago
- Start date
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Dogtrousers
Kilometre nibbler
Chris Rea Starred alongside Felicity Kendal and Bob Hoskins in a comedy film directed by Michael Winner. It was described by the film critic of The Independent as "the worst film I have ever seen".
No, really, he did. And it was.
No, really, he did. And it was.
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Illaveago
Guru
- Location
- Chippenham,Wiltshire.
Chris Rea was a successful rower but had to give it up after it was reported in the press. "Chris Rea Rowing Again!" Many people miss- read this as him being an extremely argumentative person!
Dogtrousers
Kilometre nibbler
Sadly "Driving Home for August Bank Holiday Weekend" fared no better.
teeonethousand
Senior Member
Chris Rea actually wrote this song toward the end of a round of golf at his local course …it was played on the afternoon of an early finish for the festivities.
OP
OP
Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
Chris Rea wrote Driving Home For Christmas as a tribute to his favourite film , Dumb and Dumber, and it's lead character, Lloyd Christmas.
DRM
Guru
- Location
- West Yorks
As Chris is from a city that’s linked with ships and shipping, he’s long had a fascination with them, he would see them out at sea and imagine all the Countries they’d visited and where they where heading for, so he recently set his Time Machine for April 1912, however the first try he was too early and in the wrong geographical area, so he reset the controls for the 15th April 1912, in the North Atlantic, however the flux capacitor did it’s usual trick and backfired over an ice field, the explosion caused several huge icebergs to break off, as he reappeared at this next point in time he spotted what he had long wanted to see, the RMS Titanic at full steam heading for New York, then he saw the iceberg and he brought the Turdis down just above the wheelhouse and yelled the immortal phrase “Iceberg dead ahead” unfortunately this made the wheelman and captain jump and swerve to avoid this hovering thing, and they struck the iceberg, after returning back home he was so moved by what had occurred he wrote the song “My Heart Will Go On” and a screen play for a film, called Titanic, h he employed Céline Dion and James Cameron to sing his song and make the film, he wanted Kate Winslet as Rose as he had written a special scene, just for her
OP
OP
Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
At a recent press conference Chris Rea announced that his next few songs are going to be painfully bad, and he blamed it on the previous band to have a number one album for leaving the charts in a mess.
Apparently those with the broadest shoulders will have to bear the greatest burden, apart from millionaire Rea himself who recently received £14000 worth of free suits and glasses from a wealthy fan, to whom he gave an unrestricted backstage pass as a reward.
A reporter then asked Rea why he didn't do proper due diligence before promising a number 1 record, whereupon the gravel voiced songster mumbled something incoherent about the previous number 1 band having lied to him.
Another reporter countered by pointing out that he'd been telling fans for years that the previous number 1 band were liars so why did he take their word on the state of the charts, whereupon Rea shouted "this press conference is over!", before storming out while mumbling under his breath about how he only wanted to be associated with good things that had happened on his watch and the bad things were all nothing to do with him.
He was so angry he reversed his Rav4 into the road without looking and knocked a passing cyclist from his steed. Unsurprisingly, he did not try to take credit for this.
Apparently those with the broadest shoulders will have to bear the greatest burden, apart from millionaire Rea himself who recently received £14000 worth of free suits and glasses from a wealthy fan, to whom he gave an unrestricted backstage pass as a reward.
A reporter then asked Rea why he didn't do proper due diligence before promising a number 1 record, whereupon the gravel voiced songster mumbled something incoherent about the previous number 1 band having lied to him.
Another reporter countered by pointing out that he'd been telling fans for years that the previous number 1 band were liars so why did he take their word on the state of the charts, whereupon Rea shouted "this press conference is over!", before storming out while mumbling under his breath about how he only wanted to be associated with good things that had happened on his watch and the bad things were all nothing to do with him.
He was so angry he reversed his Rav4 into the road without looking and knocked a passing cyclist from his steed. Unsurprisingly, he did not try to take credit for this.
Illaveago
Guru
- Location
- Chippenham,Wiltshire.
A little known fact about Chris Rea is that he went and had professional voice training lessons from Lee Marvin.
Illaveago
Guru
- Location
- Chippenham,Wiltshire.
In his early childhood many people thought that Chris was mute. In actual fact the pitch of his voice was so low that it was below the level of human hearing. It was only discovered by scientists studying the behaviour of Blue Whales in the Pacific that they became excited when Chris opened his mouth. His voice could carry long distances. This is why he sought help from Lee Marvin to be able to reach the high notes to become a successful singer.
OP
OP
Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
During the Covid lock down Chris Rea had to travel to the studio. Upon arrival he was mobbed by studio staff who had arranged a surprise birthday party for him.
All thoughts of work left Rea's mind as a slice of birthday cake and a beer were thrust into his hands.
Rea was later to admit that this was a misjudgement and she should immediately have declined the birthday hospitality, while being at pains to point out he had no prior knowledge of the celebration. He said that next time it happens he'll pop over to Mark Knopfler's house where it's OK to drink beer together because they did some work first, even though Knopfler denies ever having been there and only admits his presence when a mobile phone video is leaked to GB News.
Suitably chastised Rea withdrew from the Eurovision Song Congest, which was won by the Afghan thash metal band Death to the American Infidels and their song, Death to the American Infidels.
Rea ended up taking a well paid job as a columnist for the Daily Mail, but was dismayed to see his pro cycling essays edited to suit the papers anti cycling agenda.
He has now sunk into obscurity, erased from the collective memory of a nation to whom he had promised to Get The Job Done. And that he had - his CDs now cost 50% more than before and he's coining it.
All thoughts of work left Rea's mind as a slice of birthday cake and a beer were thrust into his hands.
Rea was later to admit that this was a misjudgement and she should immediately have declined the birthday hospitality, while being at pains to point out he had no prior knowledge of the celebration. He said that next time it happens he'll pop over to Mark Knopfler's house where it's OK to drink beer together because they did some work first, even though Knopfler denies ever having been there and only admits his presence when a mobile phone video is leaked to GB News.
Suitably chastised Rea withdrew from the Eurovision Song Congest, which was won by the Afghan thash metal band Death to the American Infidels and their song, Death to the American Infidels.
Rea ended up taking a well paid job as a columnist for the Daily Mail, but was dismayed to see his pro cycling essays edited to suit the papers anti cycling agenda.
He has now sunk into obscurity, erased from the collective memory of a nation to whom he had promised to Get The Job Done. And that he had - his CDs now cost 50% more than before and he's coining it.
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Grant Fondo
Guru
- Location
- Cheshire
Chris's original number plate on his 1964 Cortina mk2 was D10 REA.
He changed it a couple of months later.
He changed it a couple of months later.
DRM
Guru
- Location
- West Yorks
He keeps tweaking the thing but just can’t get the parameters correct
