True Facts About Chris Rea

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Location
Cheshire
Liam and Noel Gallagher have chosen Chris to support them on their 2025 reunion tour, but he wasn't the first choice.
Peter Andre was unavailable as still doing a 40 year stretch in a Turkish prison.
Madness initially agreed but wouldn't play outside the north circular road.
The Wurzels declined due to next summer's concert dates being prime tractor stealing season.
So, two legendary acts will play and luckily the last August dates in Ireland give Chris plenty of time in the (non too reliable) Cortina to head back to the North East by December.
 

Ming the Merciless

There is no mercy
Location
Inside my skull
Chris Rea lands in Sparta in 404 BC and for a laugh exclaims “I’m Spartacus”. The rest is history.
 
OP
OP
Drago

Drago

Legendary Member
During a rainy night in Decomber 1974 Lord Lucan was desperately trying to fight off the burglars that had violently invaded his home.

At that moment Chris Rea arrived in his time machine as he he'd been invited round by Lucan for a fame of nomination whist.

The time machine materialised above the burglars and the Auberge Field vapourised them instantly.

With no proof the burglars had ever existed Lucan knew he would be in trouble with the law, so Rea gave a lift back to WW1 where he got a job high up in the Kaiser's government.
 

DRM

Guru
Location
West Yorks
Chri Rea recently took the Time Machine back to South Africa, 22nd July 1879, he noted a large crowd of very agitated Zulu Warriors, with spears, shields and some very old rifles, a sudden small backfire from the Turdis frightened the Zulus who then ran away, but also towards several British men in smart red jackets, the ensuing fracas proved to be a disaster for the British, ending in a massacre, Chris got the Turdis away quickly, recently discovered documents show Queen Victoria was definitely not amused and ordered that “That Northern Ar*# needs locking up, find him and put him in nick, now” Chris tries to avoid Victorian times as much as possible now
 
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