True Facts About Chris Rea

[Drago]

Chris Rea waw visited by the ghost of Christmas Past, so Rea slapped him in the knackers and stole his Rolex.

 

[grldtnr]

Chris Rea is a gastronome, as illustrated by his constant failure to get on BBC'S Masterchef, he sorely craves a Paul Hollywood handshake.
It was a false report by the ' Stun' newspaper, it wasn't Freddie Starr who ate the Hamster, it was Rea, he had it griddled on a charcoal barbecue, served with crunchy croutons and Remoulade..
Chris is quite partial to Rodents, he eats Bats too....that's where Ozzie got the idea to bite a bats head off....
Crazy diets these musicians have....

 

[Drago]

Chris Rea and the weather-altering Auberge Field of the TURDIS are responsible for the great drought of 1976.

 

[Seevio]

Once again, Chris Rea has forgotten to wake up Billie Joe Armstrong.

 

[stephec]

Chris Rea wanted to be an astronaut when he was at school as one day he overheard his teacher say, 'his dad should have shot him in to space.'

 

[Dogtrousers]

Chris Rea was the voice of the speaking clock

 

[lazybloke]

Chris Rea; the acting powerhouse behind children's TV character, Noseybonk.
My brain seems to have erased the memory, thank God; otherwise I would have suffered decades of mental health issues.

But here's a visual reminder....

 

[Drago]

Chris Rea played Bungle in series 13-19 of Rainbow.

 

[grldtnr]

Will this thread get to 101 pages by this afternoon, 101 pages of absolute truthful rubbish about an ' infamous' guitar plucker.
Be an achievement that,won't surpass some of Accys threads tho"

 

[Drago]

Due to his rampant abuse of time and history, Chris Rea is/was Rameses III, emperor of all Egypt.

And Rameses I, II, IV, V, VI, VIII...

 

[stephec]

Chris Rea has the world's largest collection of Spacehoppers which he's planning on using to open a museum with.

'It'll make Redcar more popular than Florida,' he's been quoted as saying in the Redcar Gazette.

 

[DRM]

Chris Rea is now banned from the Nurburgring, a test flight of the Time Transit meant that it landed on the Nurburgring, and only with skilfull driving it left several Porsches, Ferrari's etc standing, making them look stupidly slow, it also made Sabine Schmidts Top Gear lap look like it was going backwards, despite all the preperation to make it go as fast as possible, No one from the Teesside/Tyneside Branch of the Mk1 Ford Transit Owners Club was available for comment.

 

[lazybloke]

It was only "The road to hell" because his Reliant Robin had a flat tyre.

Useful skills though; Chris Rea taught Nick Knowles and Prince William everything they know about changing a wheel.

 

[Drago]

Like our beloved Prince Andrew, Chris Rea does not sweat.

 

[twentysix by twentyfive]

Chris Rea won the "Rea of the Yea" award long before Carol Vorderman.