True Facts About Chris Rea

[lazybloke]

Chris Rea did the voice of HAL9000 for the original version of 2001.

However, Rea's gravelly tones were too difficult to understand for the US audience so the version of the film for the US market were dubbed by Douglas Rain.

I'm afraid i can't do that, @Drago


Edit: oooh, 99 pages!

 

[Seevio]

Chris Rea denies the existence of Australia and has never seen an umbrella.

 

[DRM]

On the 9th of November 1938 Chris Rea was visiting Nazzie Germany when a massive backfire of the TURDIS Auberge Field caused a shock wave thar smashed windows across Germany, Austria and the Sudetenland.

Chris Rea denies that in September 1938 he set up a business in Germany called Nationaler GlaserSpatz Und Glaser GMBH, (National Glass Replacements and Glaziers) just in case, yet the money came from somewhere to fund the development of the time travelling Turdis, it was believed that Hitler was furious that he didn’t come up with the idea first.

 

[Drago]

Hitler used to have a luxuriant full beard, but during one visit by Chris Rea a close pass from the TURDIS caused serious burns to Hitlers face as the Auberge Field swept over him, leaving the future despot with only a small tuft on his top lip.

Charlie Chaplin was thus outed as a huge Hitler fan when he copied the Fuhrer's new style.

 

[lazybloke]

"Elvis, you've used all the bog roll!"

 

[Drago]

Surely the great man himself must be aware of this thread by now?

 

[Dogtrousers]

Chris Rea is really a publicity shy Portugese woman called Isabella. The whole "gravelly-voiced blues musician from Middlesborough" business is an elaborate lie.

 

[grldtnr]

Surely the great man himself must be aware of this thread by now?

Well ,you would have thought so, perhaps he doesn't do social media

 

[Drago]

Well ,you would have thought so, perhaps he doesn't do social media

The Auberge Field messes up mobile reception.

 

[DRM]

https://edition.cnn.com/2024/09/07/europe/ukraine-thermite-dragon-drones-intl-hnk-ml/index.html
There has been speculation of a Dragon Drone, wreaking havoc over Russian armoured vehicles and front lines, whilst Ukraine are happy to claim this is true, there is video evidence of the Turdis leaving Ukraine after unscheduled visits due to a faulty GPS, you can clearly see how even a small backfire of the Auberge field is so destructive

 

[stephec]

Surely the great man himself must be aware of this thread by now?

Anyone who's become a member of here in the last few weeks is now under suspicion.

Thanks to the turdis though the real Chris Rea went back twelve years and started up this forum, come on shaun, the game's up.

 

[lazybloke]

This year, Chris Rea will be appearing in "I'm a celebrity".

Thanks to the Turdis he's already watched all the programmes and will have an unfair advantage in all the bushtucker shows.
This will lead to an amusing and improbable chain of events: accusations of the show being fixed, scandal in the press, Ant or Dec having a punch-up with Rea live on air, and Mr Tumble winning the next TV Presenter award.

 

[Drago]

For a joke Chris Rea absolutely refuse to go back in time and stop Noel Edmonds from being famous.

 

[lazybloke]

For a joke Chris Rea absolutely refuse to go back in time and stop Noel Edmonds from being famous.

It was Chris Rea who played Mr Blobby.
Here's an early prototype.

 

[grldtnr]

2 pages short of 101, we're nearly there!
We can lock it up and throw away the key, with or without our Cult leader ,the beared one!