True Facts About Chris Rea

[Dogtrousers]

Chris Rea puts water on his cornflakes. He considers milk to be a decadent extravagance.

 

[Drago]

Chris Rea invented Weetabix,the original recipe being a mix of Shreddies crumbs fallen down the back of the TURDIS control panel, and asbestos insulation.

 

[Dogtrousers]

Chris Rea doesn't approve of toasters. He won't have one in his house. A gig of his in Los Angeles had to be cancelled because he had cornered a member of the public and was ranting at them about toasters. Once started he can't be stopped and everyone had to be sent home and his team had to wait for him to calm down.

 

[lazybloke]

Wagon Wheels aren't getting smaller for Chris Rea, thanks to his inventive use of the TURDIS when shopping for confectionery.

 

[Dogtrousers]

Chris Rea has never fully mastered differentiating right from left. It often takes him several goes to pick up a guitar and hold it the right way round.

 

[Drago]

Chris Rea sources his clothes from Keir Starmer's dustbin.

 

[classic33]

Slipping downwards.

 

[Drago]

We'll see about that.

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[Drago]

That's better. We're now first after Wikipederea.

 

[Fergs]

The little finger on Chris Rea’s left hand is in fact a third thumb.
‘The Road to Hell’ was inspired by the confusion this caused whenever he hitchhiked and the miserable, sodden hours he spent on the hard shoulder

 

[DRM]

Chris Rea has been working on a history of the North East, and as usual the Turdis has wreaked havoc, whilst visiting Hartlepool in the times of the Napoleonic wars the Auberge field backfired over a French ship, causing the vessel to flounder, the only survivor being a monkey, in order to cover his faux pas, as the monkey came ashore a certain Middlesbrough resident who was from over 200 years in the future shouted it’s a French spy, catch it, the poor people of Hartlepool not knowing better hung the poor monkey, so that the people of Hartlepool are known as monkey hangers ever since.

 

[Drago]

The little finger on Chris Rea’s left hand is in fact a third thumb.
‘The Road to Hell’ was inspired by the confusion this caused whenever he hitchhiked and the miserable, sodden hours he spent on the hard shoulder

Chris Rea is often mistaken as a member of the Yakuza due to his missing little fingers. This is how Postman Pat came to be their leader.

 

[lazybloke]

Inspiration can come from anywhere; "Fool (if you think it's over)" is actually the name of an all-you-can-eat dessert of stewed fruit & custard, offered by the kitchen of Chris Rea's local pub.

 

[Drago]

Chris Rea song, Down on the Beach, was originally about his ex girlfriend and titled Damn she's a B***h.

The record company solicitors, King, Savile and Glitter, had a fitmof the vapours when they saw the title and insited it be changed. This was not, as many folk believe, due to them not wanting to cause offence, but rather besause the word B***h was the intellectual property of the Easy group of companies who are notoriously litigious.

 

[PeteXXX]

Chris Rea has never jumped a red light when riding his bicycle.