True Facts About Chris Rea
- Thread starter Drago
- Start date
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lazybloke
Priest of the cult of Chris Rea
- Location
- Leafy Surrey
Chris Rea is desperate to finally top the festive charts. To that end, he is hacking all baby monitors to play 'Driving home for Christmas' throughout December.
What he doesn't know is I've swapped with mp3 file with Barbie Girl.
What he doesn't know is I've swapped with mp3 file with Barbie Girl.
grldtnr
Über Member
Barbie Girl.......I thought was Chris Rea.
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Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
Barbie's companion, Ken, is modelled on Chris Rea.
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Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
For a prank Chris Rea once refilled a number of Lemsip sachets with ground up crack cocaine and slopped them on the shelf in the House of Commons tuck shop. It's not known which politician ended up taking this remedy, although Keith Vaz started fancying men and set himself up as a washing machine salesman a few days later.
Dogtrousers
Kilometre nibbler
During one of those 1970s reminiscence programs
Stuart Maconie said "now, no-one likes Spacehoppers more than I do ...".
Chris Rea took this literally and flew into a rage. "I like Spacehoppers a lot more than he does" Chris posted on Reagram, his own private social media platform. "Stuart Maconie is a mere dilettante with a passing interest in Spacehoppers. My interest in them is positively unhealthy". He then posted a series of pictures of himself wearing an orange mankini posing with Spacehoppers.
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Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
If one examines the footage of the Apollo 11 landing closely one can just see a bearded man in the far distance stolling about in his budgie smugglers before entering a portaloo and disappearing.
This is, of course, Chris Rea, who was inspired to write " The Beach" by what he had seen.
This is, of course, Chris Rea, who was inspired to write " The Beach" by what he had seen.
lazybloke
Priest of the cult of Chris Rea
- Location
- Leafy Surrey
When Chris Rea recently had a brain MRI, the consultant was heard to exclaim 'My God, it's full of stars'
Dogtrousers
Kilometre nibbler
Chris Rea's brain is actually a supermassive black hole.
lazybloke
Priest of the cult of Chris Rea
- Location
- Leafy Surrey
Chris Rea's wife hasn't been seen since she tongued his ear and accidentally got dragged across the event horizon.
DRM
Guru
- Location
- West Yorks
In further research on recent historical events, Chris Rea took the Turdis back to the night of 27th February 1933, exactly 4 weeks after a certain former painter & decorator had been sworn in as Chancellor of Germany, as the Turdis landed next to the Reichstag, Chris went for a nosey to see what was going on in Berlin, he also had with him some old clothing that he intended to drop off at the local Cats & Dogs home charity shop in Middlesbrough Town Centre on his return (Mrs Rea had insisted) he was suddenly disturbed by a gang of men, so he ran back to the Turdis and set off home, the men went into the Reichstag and Chris was sure they were up to no good, however a huge Auberge field flame and a violent tilt set the Reichstag on fire, the charity bags fell out of the Turdis door, straight through the Reichstag roof, Chris got away by the skin of his teeth, later Adolf Hitler blamed communist agitators for burning the Reichstag down, citing arson due to old clothing found on one floor used to light the fire, leading to the execution of a young Dutch communist, Chris went on holiday to Berlin some time later, and really blushed as the story of the Reichstag fire was told as he knew the truth of what really occurred.
Illaveago
Guru
- Location
- Chippenham,Wiltshire.
Before becoming famous as a pop star Chris Rea was actually a male model. His most famous job was to model for Palitoy to help them create their Adventurer Action Man doll.
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Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
Chris Rea did the voice of HAL9000 for the original version of 2001.
However, Rea's gravelly tones were too difficult to understand for the US audience so the version of the film for the US market were dubbed by Douglas Rain.
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Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
On the 9th of November 1938 Chris Rea was visiting Nazzie Germany when a massive backfire of the TURDIS Auberge Field caused a shock wave thar smashed windows across Germany, Austria and the Sudetenland.
