True Facts About Chris Rea

[grldtnr]

Did he flush it down the TURDIS?
Then larf like Dr. Evil, with a finger to his lips, I can see Accy cyclist, poised ready over his computer ,ready to register his dislike, little knowing Dr. Evil is his doppelganger,

There is a precedent here, Dr. Evil has a time machine, just like Rea, except his is more reliable.

And Austin Powers, just like Accy Cyclist has a fine interest in clothes, they are both Dandy peacocks, but I can't say Accy is as Shagadelic.... 'yeah ,Baby Yeah !

 

[grldtnr]

Chris Rea was the first person to unicycle through the channel tunnel.

No one but Chris Rea ,can bunny hop a unicycle, but on the return trip he bunny hopped along the ceiling !!!!!!!!
I want whatever he eats for breakfast, and it isn't Weetabix !

 

[DRM]

Chris Rea's Time Transit has recently become better at time travel after a bit more fettling, he got it to go back to 26th November 1983, he materialised in the grounds of the Heathrow International Trading Estate, just as he landed a gang of masked men threw some cardboard boxes in the back, this startled Chris who having no idea what was going on hit the emergency homing button, after arriving back to his secret workshop he found the boxes were full of gold ingots, and further internet research shows he had appeared in the middle of the Brinks Mat Robbery, much of the gold was never recovered, Police believing it had been either melted down and mixed with scrap gold and turned into jewellery, or buried, we now know the truth, funnily enough Rea Jewellers is very highly regarded on Etsy for the quality of it's gold Jewellery.

 

[Dogtrousers]

And Austin Powers, just like Accy Cyclist has a fine interest in clothes, they are both Dandy peacocks, but I can't say Accy is as Shagadelic.... 'yeah ,Baby Yeah !

Well, we can't say that with certainty. But let's face it, it's pretty probable.

 

[lazybloke]

Filming has just been abandoned on the latest episode of Mastermind after a contestant reacted angrily to scoring zero in his chosen specialist subject, The life and times of Chris Rea.
In the fracas that followed, the contestant turned out to be Chris Rea in disguise.
"The questions are nonsense", he protested.
"No they're not", said the production team, "we researched them all on Cyclechat."

 

[PeteXXX]

Chris Rea is so special that, instead of a Star on Hollywood Boulevard, he has a dodecahedrhon.

 

[Drago]

Chris Rea is in trouble after giving practical joker Dennis Hopper a lift home. If the TURDIS drops below 50% of light speed a bomb will go off in the Auberge Field generator.

 

[grldtnr]

I just asked on Chat GPT, ' Does Chris Rea have a time machine? '
It replied, no , but the idea that he does stems from his hit album 'The road To hell' , its more about reminiscing of bad times.

It did state that Chat GBT,could not be held to account for inaccuracies, .......so was his album Road to Hell a hit ......or does he actually own a time machine.
Hmmmm ,now that's a poser......

 

[lazybloke]

I just asked on Chat GPT, ' Does Chris Rea have a time machine? '
It replied, no , but the idea that he does stems from his hit album 'The road To hell' , its more about reminiscing of bad times.

Bored of dressing-up for historical re-enactments, Chris Rea acquired his TURDIS to make actual visits to medieval times.
One of his first trips was a search for the court of King Arthur.

At the time, North Cornwall was a contender as the location of Camelot, hence his song that chronicled his quest: "ye road to Hayle".
The song failed to enter the wandering minstrel top 10, but was a commercial success a millenium later, thanks to a modern rewrite of the lyrics.

 

[Dogtrousers]

Chris Rea is a musician from the North East of England. He had a sort of hit once called "Road to Hell".

Not a lot of people know that.

 

[Drago]

Chris Rea is chairman of the Ken Barlow fan club.

 

[Dogtrousers]

Chris Rea likes to dress up as Ivy Tilsley

 

[raleighnut]

Chris Rea likes to dress up as Ivy Tilsley

He's got the beard for it

 

[Drago]

Chris Rea played hard-man Brian Tilsley in Coronation Street.

Little acting involved as Rea is naturally hard as nails.

The death scene where Tilsley was stabbed to death was, by judicious use of the TURDIS, watched by 71 billion people.

 

[Dogtrousers]

As an aside, I was informed by friend, who was in turn informed by a friend (insert chain of friends) who had some sort of amour with Brian Tilsley that he kept his socks on