True Facts About Chris Rea
- Thread starter Drago
- Start date
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Dogtrousers
Kilometre nibbler
Chris Rea used to believe that the earth was flat. However his views have since moved on and he now believes that the surface of the earth is the inside of a sphere.
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OP
OP
Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
Thanks to Chris Rea's comstant time meddling 633 Squadron started out as fiction but is now a documentary.
slow horse
Well-Known Member
Chris Rea was just now at the door asking if I would like to know more about our lord and saviour. I said sure. I think nobody had ever agreed before, because he then got flustered and tried to flee. I ran after him and tackled him, insisting that I would like to know more. Eventually I grew tired of his blubbering and let him go.
Dogtrousers
Kilometre nibbler
Having analysed stone chips from Chris Rea, archeologists now believe that Chris Rea originated in the Welsh mountains and was transported to Middlesbrough 3000 years ago.
OP
OP
Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
Death once had a near Chris Rea experience.
Ming the Merciless
There is no mercy
- Location
- Inside my skull
Chris just before he left the decks of the Titanic. He had a concert to go to, and decided to leave a day or two before it was due to dock.
lazybloke
Ginger biscuits and cheddar
- Location
- Leafy Surrey
Years from now, scholars will ponder the greatest mysteries of Chris Rea: Why did he align his loo seat so he could sit with one foot down the pan?
Dogtrousers
Kilometre nibbler
Chris Rea used to be a model in the Shopper's World catalogue. In an interview with The New Statesman he admitted "Yeah, I was Smiling Man With Garden Equipment and Outdoor Shoes man." He refused to comment on whether he was Underpants Man.
OP
OP
Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
Chris Rea, avid time machine abuser, was voted Cardigan Wearer of the Year three years running from 1998-2017.
Dogtrousers
Kilometre nibbler
It was a well deserved award. Not for nothing was he known as "The New Doonican"
Ming the Merciless
There is no mercy
- Location
- Inside my skull
It’s where the Time Machine control pedals are
DRM
Guru
- Location
- West Yorks
And this is where he honed his modelling skills to eventually become ASSOS man, for the Swiss cycling kit brand
