True Facts About Chris Rea

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slow horse

Well-Known Member
Chris Rea was just now at the door asking if I would like to know more about our lord and saviour. I said sure. I think nobody had ever agreed before, because he then got flustered and tried to flee. I ran after him and tackled him, insisting that I would like to know more. Eventually I grew tired of his blubbering and let him go.
 

Dogtrousers

Kilometre nibbler
Having analysed stone chips from Chris Rea, archeologists now believe that Chris Rea originated in the Welsh mountains and was transported to Middlesbrough 3000 years ago.
 

stephec

Squire
Location
Bolton
Many years ago when Chuck Norris was on a promotional tour of the UK he refused to visit the north east for fear of bumping into Chris.

Thankfully for Chuck everyone swallowed the old, 'no time due to other commitments,' excuse.
 

Ming the Merciless

There is no mercy
Location
Inside my skull
Chris just before he left the decks of the Titanic. He had a concert to go to, and decided to leave a day or two before it was due to dock.

IMG_0969.jpeg
 

Dogtrousers

Kilometre nibbler
Chris Rea used to be a model in the Shopper's World catalogue. In an interview with The New Statesman he admitted "Yeah, I was Smiling Man With Garden Equipment and Outdoor Shoes man." He refused to comment on whether he was Underpants Man.
 

Dogtrousers

Kilometre nibbler
Chris Rea, avid time machine abuser, was voted Cardigan Wearer of the Year three years running from 1998-2017.

It was a well deserved award. Not for nothing was he known as "The New Doonican"
 

DRM

Guru
Location
West Yorks
Chris Rea used to be a model in the Shopper's World catalogue. In an interview with The New Statesman he admitted "Yeah, I was Smiling Man With Garden Equipment and Outdoor Shoes man." He refused to comment on whether he was Underpants Man.

And this is where he honed his modelling skills to eventually become ASSOS man, for the Swiss cycling kit brand
 

DRM

Guru
Location
West Yorks
Being a huge fan of Blues music, Chris Rea went back to Mississippi, with a view to meeting Robert Johnson, in the early 20th century , he arrived at a crossroads where upon arrival he stepped out of the Turdis and introduced himself to Robert, asked for an autograph and could he and Robert jam together, however a local nosey Parker spotted the pair, and as time travel in a plastic portable loo is a hot & sweaty business, the observer saw a red skinned man with a goatee beard playing guitar with Robert and then getting a signature from him, ran back to town and told everyone there that he’d just seen that young Robert Johnson, down at the crossroads selling his soul to the devil, in exchange for guitar lessons, further confirmed when Robert Johnson performed Stainsby Girls at a local juke joint.
The myth persists to this day that the Devil gave Robert Johnson his guitar skills
 

grldtnr

Über Member
I recollect that the 'Devil ' went down to Georgia, and showed someone how it's done, your pretty good old son.
OR was it really Chris Rea?
 
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