Give me some dialogue from your day

[gbb]

i am just about to start work on fixing the loo drains so you have been warned for the last time . if anyone craps or pis*es in the toilets while i working on the drains i am going to stuff you head first down the septic tank .

Is that work loos surfdude ?
Im not squeemish, I will rod completely blocked pans, rod drains, even unblock sanitary towel machines...but working in a ladies loo, like this morning, I'm repairing a leak on a cistern..and in walks a woman and goes into the trap next door without a by or a leave......?..im off, pronto

 

[surfdude]

Is that work loos surfdude ?
Im not squeemish, I will rod completely blocked pans, rod drains, even unblock sanitary towel machines...but working in a ladies loo, like this morning, I'm repairing a leak on a cistern..and in walks a woman and goes into the trap next door without a by or a leave......?..im off, pronto

this was a broken pipe to the septic tank so if anyone had used them there was only one place for it to come out .

 

[SatNavSaysStraightOn]

I've been trying to get my OH 'aware' of his weight - something that we have not done for the last 3 years since going off on the aborted world tour - he's gotten a touch tubby around the waistline and now that I'm on steroids permanently I need to be careful as well, so we have recently purchased a set of bathroom scales...

Me: "so what did the scales say?"
My OH in a tiny teeny pathetic child's voice: "they lied to me"
Me: "so what did they say?"
OH: "they lied to me..."
Me: "how exactly did they lie to you?"
OH: "they told me a fib!"

 

[Arch]

Is that work loos surfdude ?
Im not squeemish, I will rod completely blocked pans, rod drains, even unblock sanitary towel machines...but working in a ladies loo, like this morning, I'm repairing a leak on a cistern..and in walks a woman and goes into the trap next door without a by or a leave......?..im off, pronto

Why?

If she's not bothered about you being there, why should you be?

 

[Moon bunny]

On the launch Shamrock this afternoon, Hover fly caught a particulary fine Tegenaria and showed it to a certain lady volunteer, a known arachnaphobe, who was not happy sharing a boat with such a large spider:
LV, EEEEK! GET IT AWAY!
(HF puts spider in a jar in a cupboard for dealing with on land.)
LV, Just you wait! What are you frightened of?
HF, Cream cakes!

 

[cosmicbike]

I've been trying to get my OH 'aware' of his weight - something that we have not done for the last 3 years since going off on the aborted world tour - he's gotten a touch tubby around the waistline and now that I'm on steroids permanently I need to be careful as well, so we have recently purchased a set of bathroom scales...

Me: "so what did the scales say?"
My OH in a tiny teeny pathetic child's voice: "they lied to me"
Me: "so what did they say?"
OH: "they lied to me..."
Me: "how exactly did they lie to you?"
OH: "they told me a fib!"

I've got a set that do exactly the same....

 

[Octet]

Connection 1 (Me): Hello!
Connection 2 (Me): Hello there!

I've just written a piece of Python code to send messages over a network using sockets.
Unfortunately as I have no friends, the conversation was with myself.... .... but hey ho, time to use it to implement multiplayer functionality in a game I'm making.

 

[cosmicbike]

Connection 1 (Me): Hello!
Connection 2 (Me): Hello there!

I've just written a piece of Python code to send messages over a network using sockets.
Unfortunately as I have no friends, the conversation was with myself.... .... but hey ho, time to use it to implement multiplayer functionality in a game I'm making.

Presumably this will enable you to play with yourself.....

 

[gbb]

Why?

If she's not bothered about you being there, why should you be?

There are some things I just dont want to hear, not in a mens, definately not in a ladies...ladies dont do that kind of thing, surely?

 

[Dave 123]

We were going on a works trip the other day

Me- Right, come on then
Tim- Do I need my coat?
Me- I don't know
Max- Are there toilets there or should I go now?
Me- Look, I'm your boss, not your bloody dad!

 

[tony111]

Overheard a woman say this to a bloke at work,
"Eurghhh, your brown jumper does'nt match your black trousers".
Him," and your blonde hair does'nt match the grey hair on yer head".

 

[gbb]

There's a lot of banter at work, all done with a laugh..
Colleague, after winding up one of the line leaders..
'They must think I'm a right idiot'
Quick as a flash, i replied..
'Theyre not the only ones bud ....'
'Well, i left the door open for that one '

later...we were stood at an upper floor window, looking out on a panorama of the fens, flat, open and exposed...rain was lashing across the view
I mused..
'imagine years ago,stone age man woulda got exposure and died out there if they got caught in foul weather'
he replied...
'its wierd to think of cavemen out there '...while making a clubbing gesture with an imaginary weapon'
i quipped...as i looked him up and down..
'nothing much has changed for some people '
Colleague...
'dammnit, left that door open again didnt i'

 

[gbb]

Me to doc..
'After last weeks ride I found myself feeling quite uncomfortable where my pleurisy was last year..just wanted to get it checked'
After a chest examination he said..
'Interesting, there's a distinct delay between you inhaling and your lungs inflating'
'Its hard, I just dont have the ability to work as hard as I used to on the bike, I just cant inflate my lungs anymore'
'Thats likely to be fibrosis, its inhibiting the lungs ability to work as well as they should'

That word fibrosis .. i did know I'd damaged my lungs, perhaps permanently, but

 

[GrasB]

Lippy lad: Hey, b**ch [referring to my other half]. Lose the poser, I’ll show you a big c**k.
OH: You’re already naked & there’s nothing to impress
LL: Yer WHA, B**ch?
Me, OH & several other people:

 

[Lullabelle]

We were going on a works trip the other day

Me- Right, come on then
Tim- Do I need my coat?
Me- I don't know
Max- Are there toilets there or should I go now?
Me- Look, I'm your boss, not your bloody dad!