Give me some dialogue from your day

[welsh dragon]

At work, all side exits patrolled by G4S, for crowd control.
Me (helmet, hi-viz, heading for the bike park): "bye"
G4S (does not know I work there): "you can't get out of that door, need to go all the way round"
Me: "ok, no problem" push the door open, wave and exit
G4S: "Grunt!!"

On the ball as usual I see.

 

[Moon bunny]

Hover fly: I'm just nipping over to (where the offices are) I won't be long."
Boss "I shall sacrifice a seagull to the gods for your safe return."
Hover: "Just a seagull, why not a goose?"
Boss: "I'm not that bothered."

 

[Speicher]

A N Other: It is a question of having broad shoulders.
Me: Yes, like ducks off a water's back.

 

[cosmicbike]

Me:- It's too early for lunch
Dog:- Woof
M:- Later, after your walk
D:- Woof

 

[jhawk]

Me:- It's too early for lunch
Dog:- Woof
M:- Later, after your walk
D:- Woof

I have such conversations with my dog. It's like I expect to answer me in English one day!

 

[laurence]

boss; where's that doodah?

later...

boss; i need a doodah

later still...

boss: i need to sort the doodah
me: you are saying doodah a lot
boss: i am, aren't i?
me: yes, you're having a doodah day

 

[colly]

Washing machine insurance Lady:
It looks like your machine is not worth repairing it will cost more to repair than replace. You are covered for part of the cost of a new machine though.

OH. Yes I know, so what will a similar machine cost?

Long discussion about what machine we need, the cost of housing, the weather, state of the roads, England Men's woeful Ashes performance etc etc etc.

WMIP: So we will pay for 50% of the cost of the new machine if you order it through one of out outlets.

OH: But our policy says 30%.

WMIL: Ah! OK. Ah well.................yes, we no longer do that policy all the policies now offer a 50% contribution.

OH: That's great. So how much will we need to pay.

WMIL: It comes to £200

OH: Right that's fine....................Looks at the web site as things are being sorted...................Er. The machine is £269 pounds.

WMIL: Yes that's right.

OH: 50% should be less than £135.00

WMIL: But er? 70% would be ...............

OH: Still less than £200

WMIL: Er?

OH: And you said you we would only contribute a half.

WMIL: Err? I'll have to call you back.

 

[ColinJ]

...

Sis: Somebody stole my car from outside the house last night, and torched it when it ran out of petrol!

Follow up to that ...

My sister had been wondering why there had not been much reaction from the local police (such as sending SoC officers to check for fingerprints on the front door of her house and/or the worktop from which the keys were taken). Somebody she spoke to on the phone eventually let slip that they had regarded it as a probable insurance fraud case until a CCTV recording from where the car was dumped and burned showed 4 young people getting out and staggering about, clearly somewhat p***ed!

 

[ColinJ]

But didn't feel insurance fraud worth worrying about?

That's what I thought!

If they thought my sister was a lying, scheming crook, then they should have been investigating her. (Perhaps they were!)

 

[gbb]

Last nights, after a long day, couldnt be bothered to go home at 8pm and start cooking, we'll go for a Toby carvery.
Till assistant...'was everything ok sir?'
'Ok thank you...but the beef really was quite chewy'
'I'm sorry sir, we had a late large booking so had to cook some more quite quickly, I will deduct 20% off for you'
'Ok, lovely thankyou'

Having walked out, the wife said..
'You complained the beef was chewy but still tipped'
'Not the serving staffs fault tho was it...they worked just as hard and were attentive'

 

[jhawk]

Last nights, after a long day, couldnt be bothered to go home at 8pm and start cooking, we'll go for a Toby carvery.
Till assistant...'was everything ok sir?'
'Ok thank you...but the beef really was quite chewy'
'I'm sorry sir, we had a late large booking so had to cook some more quite quickly, I will deduct 20% off for you'
'Ok, lovely thankyou'

Having walked out, the wife said..
'You complained the beef was chewy but still tipped'
'Not the serving staffs fault tho was it...they worked just as hard and were attentive'

How nice of them! Wish the service in town was that good!

 

[subaqua]

Four of us are stood in the lift in Peterborough hospital, that quiet moment when we're all waiting while it descends...
the wife suddenly announces...
'Hey, we're in Schindlers lift !!!!'

And she was right.., as we all looked at the manufacturers plaque
as the door opened, four giggling people burst out, i wonder what the waiting people thought

we love having Schindler install lifts on our sites because snag lists automatically become Schindlers list, and brighten up our sad existence.

 

[Rezillo]

Four cyclists in the gear of a local cycling club whirr past our house chatting to each other. One audible snippet and they've gone......."only problem is how do we keep all these bloody newcomers out?"

 

[theloafer]

showers all day here so got my @rse into gear and washand lube the bikes the boardman was the worst (work bike) looks better now

next was the cannondale much easier has its hardly been ridden (summer bike)

then my tourer (best bike ) not much to do to this one as its in need of lots of tlc before next years jogle and I need to sort out stuff that she needs poss take her down to spa

 

[swee'pea99]

"It makes your arse look big."
"But my arse is big."