Give me some dialogue from your day

[swee'pea99]

(PS Needless to say I keep my head down while these inter-women clothes discussions are going on.)

 

[SatNavSaysStraightOn]

More a quote of the day rather than a dialogue...
My OH: "But I always get my own way, when I'm allowed to..."
Me:

 

[vernon]

My wife: "Idris Elba is one of my two favourite men."
Me, hopefully: "Who's the other?"
My wife: "Mark Selby"
Me, crestfallen: "Oh...."
Wife, brightly: "It's OK, you can name your two favourite women"
Sensing ambush, me: "You and you"
Wife, victoriously: "Is the right answer!!!!!"

And life continues unruffled by dissent chez Vernon.....

 

[vernon]

showers all day here so got my @rse into gear and washand lube the bikes the boardman was the worst (work bike) looks better now
View attachment 36517
next was the cannondale much easier has its hardly been ridden (summer bike)
View attachment 36518
then my tourer (best bike ) not much to do to this one as its in need of lots of tlc before next years jogle and I need to sort out stuff that she needs poss take her down to spa
View attachment 36519

So what did the other person say in your dialogue or were they the strong silent type?

 

[ColinJ]

Friend: I'm not sure I could ride that far. Maybe you could cycle to the YH and I could go there by train and bus?

Me: Oh, that sounds like an interesting idea! Would you be willing to take my rucksack and walking boots there for me?

Friend: On second thoughts - maybe it would be better if you travelled with me?

Me: It was your suggestion that I cycle there and I like the idea but I do not want to ride over 50 or 60 miles of tough hills with a heavy bag on my back!

 

[gbb]

Me...
Gahhhhhhhh'
'Urggghhh'
'FFS'
'Gahhhhhhhhhh'
'Urffffffffff'
'Ow'
'FFS'......,.. for about 4 hours
Wife....
'Which way ?'
'Dunno, just turn it and I will let you know'
'Gaaaaaaaaah'
'sweet jesus...i swear to frikkin God, never ever again !!!'

4 hours changing bath and sink taps. Zero access, arms twisted, back twisted, scrunched into the corner of the bathroom, fingers and thumbs desperately trying to undo taps nuts that resisted all force being used to undo them, tools (correct ones) rendered uselss by the lack of room, etc etc.

Yay, water on...nooooooo, tap connector has split its nut, water pissing all over, water quickly off, a quick trip to get a new one, water on...yay !!!!

so i laid on the bed, stiff (ooer) and sore...
Wife....
'While your tools are out....gonna put these door handles on for me ?
Me...
....youre pushing your luck a bit, but i suppose i might as well

 

[steveindenmark]

Vernon, now I know your secret for getting passes for those long trips.

Steve

 

[GrasB]

So picture the scene, it's 7:15am. The building is pitch black except for one server room illuminated by the worlds biggest collection of torches. In that room there are 6 computer officers in a server room methodically rearranging the servers in a rack.

Student: Is there a problem with the computer system?
Me: We have a power cut!
Student: I know the power is off but what about the computers
Me: There is no power for them to run off!
Student: yes we have power cut, but are the computers working
Electrician: We've got one hell of a a bright spark here!

 

[Octet]

So picture the scene, it's 7:15am. The building is pitch black except for one server room illuminated by the worlds biggest collection of torches. In that room there are 6 computer officers in a server room methodically rearranging the servers in a rack.

Student: Is there a problem with the computer system?
Me: We have a power cut!
Student: I know the power is off but what about the computers
Me: There is no power for them to run off!
Student: yes we have power cut, but are the computers working
Electrician: We've got one hell of a a bright spark here!

Did the servers cut out as well or are they running on a UPS?

 

[GrasB]

Did the servers cut out as well or are they running on a UPS?

They're on enough UPS for a graceful shutdown of servers & the VoIP switches have 4-6 hours of uptime. But this was a planned power outage so everything was down well before the power was turned off. We see no reason to power the back end servers during a power cut as all the desktops are down.

 

[gbb]

Words absolutely fail me, its actually depressing, the stupidity of people, the downright cretinous attitude people have that deceives them into thinking..nah, you're exaggerating, or I don't give a damn, or just plain laugh at what you're saying
So my young colleague arrives at work today, its frosty, we're comparing the weather we've encountered on the way in..
He...
'Couldn't see very much for about 1/2 a mile until the windscreen cleared, I was just peering out a little slot'
Me...
'Are you fkin crazy ?...people like you used to make me really mad when I used to commute by bike'
'Why, I could see ok'
'Cos you can't see ok, its dark, i'm only (theroretically) on a bike and the lights might not be that good'
'Yebbut, I don't see any cyclists at that time of the morning '
That confirms what ive often thought of him....so I retort...
'And what if i'm a pedestrian...with no lights, crossing the road ?'
A stupid cretinous grin beamed across his face...in that moment, I wanted to slap him Fcukwit. He just doesn't get it.

I gave up at that point, He's one of lifes tosspots, a nice young fella in many ways, but a cretin in others. I'm still getting mad thinking about it hours later.

And then the wife comes home...
She's telling me one of the teachers called her over as she came in the gates to the school..
'Hey Debbie, I nearly run you over back there...you're dressed all in black..in the dark'
My wife quipped back...
'Yeah, and the Police woulda been very interested in the fact your windscreen is all frosted up '

A teacher, a supposedly intelligent person ...what chance have we got ?

 

[Lullabelle]

The winder who has moved here from our London branch called in sick yesterday. He came in today and I gave him a sick form to fill in, his boss is TVC

Me: this needs to be filled in please
Him: do I fill in a sick form or a holiday form
Us: you called in sick so a sick form please
Him: in London, if you ring in sick we could book it as a holiday
TVC: that is something you would have to speak to the production manager about.
Him: if this is a sick day, do I get paid?
Us: no
Him: ok.

(out of earshot) TVC to me, 'no wonder their attendance records were so good, no one booked sick'

 

[Scoosh]

Skype call with daughterScoosh - MSc student in Lulea, N Sweden:

dS : it started at 30 degrees yesterday, then warmed up to about 20 ...

Mrs Scoosh : Oh, OK ...

Me :

 

[gbb]

We're sheeting the roof of a 'temporary' tunnel at work with metal corrugated building panels, to cover the wooden cieling..debris possible in product is the reason.
The outside of the tunnel is wood, and isnt standing up too well to the elements, but thats not really an issue at the moment, the cieling is.
Lavidius ..in a somewhat questioning manner that isnt particually polite..and it hasnt really got anything to do with him...
'Why are you doing that ?'
''To cover the cieling, they don't want to see the wood'
'But look at it outside ?...its slowly rotting away'
'I agree, but thats not what we're here for'
'But that's stupid'

I'm not here to argue one way or the other...so i continue..
'If you're not happy, go talk to the MD, tell him what you think' (which he won't of course, he's just got a bee in his bonnet or trying to be clever)
''What about the walls inside, are you going to do them ?'
(They're covered in plastic sheeting)
'No'
'Why not ?'
'Go talk to the MD..i told you, i'm here to do the cieling, i don't decide what needs doing, people more important that me..and you, make the decisions'

 

[surfdude]

i am just about to start work on fixing the loo drains so you have been warned for the last time . if anyone craps or pis*es in the toilets while i working on the drains i am going to stuff you head first down the septic tank .