Give me some dialogue from your day

[Rickshaw Phil]

(Phone rings)
Me: Hello.
Caller: Hi, I'm Greg your local green energy coordinator for your postcode area, I'm calling....
Me: What postcode area is that?
Caller: We're the ones that book the surveys to see what energy savings you can....
Me: And which postcode area am I in?
Caller: (click)

I may have a nasty suspicious mind, but I don't think he was genuine.

 

[Andy in Germany]

(Phone rings)
Me: Hello.
Caller: Hi, I'm Greg your local green energy coordinator for your postcode area, I'm calling....
Me: What postcode area is that?
Caller: We're the ones that book the surveys to see what energy savings you can....
Me: And which postcode area am I in?
Caller: (click)

I may have a nasty suspicious mind, but I don't think he was genuine.

This has a simple response here:

"As you are speaking English, are you aware that in Germany, calling me without my permission is considered a breach of my privacy and taken very seriously by law enforcement?"
"Click"

 

[Toshiba Boy]

Mrs TB has spent the last hour with a very patient member of staff, at the local opticians, choosing new glasses.

I've taken the dog for a walk, and now waiting inside the opticians, trying not to look at my watch, when the dreaded words drift over from my wife, "What do you think about these frames I've "narrowed" it down to?"

Help!

 

[All uphill]

I've been in hospital today: a rich source of interesting dialogue.

I felt for the old patient next to me in the recovery room asking for his grandfather. "Last time I saw him he was in this hospital; I want to see him, please let me see him, he'll have a grey mac on".

And the nurse from Kerala telling me I wouldn't like her fish curry - too hot for someone like me.

And it definitely wasn't me saying a thousand times that I need a poo. I can't remember it, so it didn't happen.

 

[Chris S]

Not dialogue but on Saturday night I saw a woman talking on her mobile phone as she tottered along in high heels. She fell over and lay on the ground. She carried on talking on her mobile as though nothing had happened.

 

[ColinJ]

Not dialogue but on Saturday night I saw a woman talking on her mobile phone as she tottered along in high heels. She fell over and lay on the ground. She carried on talking on her mobile as though nothing had happened.

I have seen videos of people falling into fountains, canals and rivers when distracted by their phones, but that did at least shut them up!

I saw another of a young woman so engrossed that she walked straight out into the road. She was about to get hit by a fast-approaching vehicle but luckily another pedestrian saw what was happening and yanked her to safety at the last moment!

 

[roubaixtuesday]

Email rather than verbal:

RE: Book your Health Assessment today

Hi,

For some reason, your system has sent me this reminder email eleven(!) times this morning, while I was having the assessment you seem to think I’ve not booked!

Please make it stop!

Thanks
Response:

Thank you for your email.

This mailbox is not monitored.

 

[bruce1530]

“Can you drop by my house this weekend and have a look at that … thing?”
“What thing?”
“You know… the thing with the things on it….”

 

[Andy in Germany]

"Good afternoon. I'd like to pick up the bicycle I brought for repair"
"No problem, do you have the copy of the receipt we gave you?"
"Oh, no, I forgot that."
"Okay, then this may take a bit longer. What does the bike look like?"
"Oh, gosh. I need to describe it? I'm not sure what it looks like..."

Fortunately, the manager, who has a near photographic memory for customers' bikes, intervened so we could move forward...

 

[Chris S]

Some Irish travellers have set up camp in my gym's car park. One of the instructors made a joke about her relatives coming to visit.

 

[bruce1530]

“Can you take those 2 plants that are growing in pots, and plant them in the ground?”

“Sorry, I didnt bring a spade”

“You’re a gardener, I’ve employed you to do some work in my garden. You’ve turned up in a sign written van saying Joe’s Gardening Services. And you don’t have a spade????”