Give me some dialogue from your day

[ACW]

Phone rings
Colleague shouts at the phone "F### Off"
then picks up the phone and says in a pleasant voice
" Hello how can i help"

 

[subaqua]

mech services manager( and i use the term manager very loosely, even though he is a colleague ): uummm you know i said all the Trace htg points were shown on a drawing.
me: yes , but you are going to tell me there are more just been added today.
MSM: How do you know
Me : as i actually go out on site more than 10 minutes a day . its too late though we have no more time till lockdown so te 2 ft of pipe it covers will just have to be not trace heated.

 

[CopperCyclist]

Me: And how much were the glasses that your daughter broke?
Victim: Umm.... err.... um...
My colleague: I'd guess about £150, shall we go with that?
Victim (clearly annoyed): Thats not right, They was expensive glasses, thems was vairfocals!
Me: Its fine, you just give me your estimate and I'll write it down.
Victim: £100


and (separate job)
Me: So your surname is GREGG, spelt G R E G G?
Mr Greig: No, it's pronounced GREGG, but it's spelt G R E I G. The 'I' is pronounced like a silent 'E'.

 

[Cubist]

[QUOTE 1894783, member: 45"]"Dad, is there another dimension apart from this one?"

"You're 7. Save those questions for a few years, eh?"[/quote]
A simple "No, don't ask stupid questions" usually works.

 

[Cubist]

Event Planning meeting:

(we're planning an event that may have serious community repercussions and we have had information that a councillor from a neighbouring authority has offered to help whip up a massive counter-demonstration)

Superintendent "The Leader of our Council is going to get hold of the leader of ********* Council and persuade him to speak to Cllr *****. The idea is that he can discuss the appropriateness of his getting involved."
Me "That's a very diplomatic phrase for you Boss, let me write it down in full in the minutes."
Supt (slowly so I can write it down verbatim " Discuss the appropriateness of his getting involved."
Me (writing and just not quite under my breath) "........ wind his f*cking neck in......."

 

[gbb]

Phone rings
Colleague shouts at the phone "F### Off"
then picks up the phone and says in a pleasant voice
" Hello how can i help"

That appeals to me for some reason

Mine...
Sat watching TV, a Toolfix advert is on, that fast moving one where it shows a multitude of men doing all sorts of tasks...i often reply to the telly in a mocking fashion

Advert....'If you do this ? (shows a shot of a guy sawing some wood)
Me...'yes i do'
Advert...'And if you do this ? (shows a shot of a guy doing some plumbing )
Me...;yes i do'
Advert...'Then you need this' (shows a shot of a catalogue being slapped manfully on the table)
Me...'No i don't'

 

[machew]

[QUOTE 1894783, member: 45"]"Dad, is there another dimension apart from this one?"

"You're 7. Save those questions for a few years, eh?"[/quote]

Yup there are at current count 10,11 or 24 dimensions. There are fourth that we all know about, The first three are basic directions in which we can move are up/down, left/right, and forward/backward the four is time, The rest we are unable to perceive

 

[machew]

Bear in mind I also work in IT...

Colleague A: The Electric windows don't go up or down on the van
Me: Turn the ignition off then on again
A: Thanks the windows are now working

Cue lots of comments about "turning it off and turning it back on again..."

 

[gbb]

Bear in mind I also work in IT...

Colleague A: The Electric windows don't go up or down on the van
Me: Turn the ignition off then on again
A: Thanks the windows are now working

Cue lots of comments about "turning it off and turning it back on again..."

Thats a 'get out of jail card' for many of us
There's an increasing amount of industrial machinery where, if you can't figure out whats happening (or not)...turn it off for a few seconds then turn it back on again.

 

[Scoosh]

It's called 'Re-Booting' isn't it ?

 

[swee'pea99]

Never mind 'industrial machinery', just about anything electrical these days has a wee brain that goes a bit funny sometimes. Turn it off and turn it on again applies to just about anything powered that goes odd.

 

[gbb]

It's called 'Re-Booting' isn't it ?

Never mind 'industrial machinery', just about anything electrical these days has a wee brain that goes a bit funny sometimes. Turn it off and turn it on again applies to just about anything powered that goes odd.

It's the ever increasing complexity of equipment, IT, industrial or otherwise...certainly in an industrial environment, we didnt have to resort to re-booting as much as we do now.
What surprises me is the post above about car windows...a car is one area where i never heard of people doing it.

 

[TVC]

Yup there are at current count 10,11 or 24 dimensions. There are fourth that we all know about, The first three are basic directions in which we can move are up/down, left/right, and forward/backward the four is time, The rest we are unable to perceive

No, that's just you, the rest of us have no problems.

 

[ColinJ]

What surprises me is the post above about car windows...a car is one area where i never heard of people doing it.

My niece got the strap of her rucksack stuck in the mechanism of her van door and the locking system refused to stop trying to lock it. That eventually led to a burned-out motor and a bill for £135 to fix it. You would have thought it would be programmed to try a rew times and then give up!

 

[gbb]

Yesterday...cycling along Oundle Road, came up behind a bunch of maybe 6 cyclists, tailed them till a break in traffic then began to work my way past. Just as i started and came alongside the 'tail gunner', someone pulled up on the opposite side of the road and screamed ...
'F'KIN TOSSERS '

I looked at the tailgunner and said..'Well there's no pleasing some people eh ! '


I cant imagine what provoked him into such a tantrum, unless he'd been stuck behind them at some stage i hadn't seen.