Give me some dialogue from your day

[gbb]

Hard day at work, on my feet a lot, lots achieved...i'm stood at the clocking out machine, looking forward to getting home. Val the line leader opens the door, looks at me and says...
'2 minutes later, i'd have missed you ....get your overalls on and your toolbox, the weighers packed up'

 

[Scoosh]

Hard day at work, on my feet a lot, lots achieved...i'm stood at the clocking out machine, looking forward to getting home. Val the line leader opens the door, looks at me and says...
'2 minutes later, i'd have missed you ....get your overalls on and your toolbox, the weighers packed up'

Was it plugged in ?

 

[gavgav]

Sat in the office today and the Head of I.T. and I.T. manager appear in our office, carrying some dismantled tables and fixings for the meeting room. They come back through and I.T. manager says to the head of I.T. (without thinking) "Have you got your nuts in your pocket?" cue the whole office breaking into rapturous laughter His timing was impeccable.

 

[threebikesmcginty]

Me: Tsk, look at those kids, out in the rain and no coat on.

Mrs 3BM: peanuts!

Me: That's nice darling.

 

[Ethan]

Today in the cafe I do slave labour for:

'Hello, are you ready to order'
'yes please can I have x,z,x and TAP WATER (In a funny German accent)'
'certainly, thank you very much'

Off I go to give the kitchen the food order and get another member of staff to sort the drinks.
Take over the drinks
'Sorry, Can I have bottled water?'
'Certainly sir, Ill bring it right over'
'thank you'.

Go fetch the bottled water

'Here you are'
'Sorry - this is tap water again.'
'Urmm no sir, thats defiantly bottle water'
'Really, are you sure? It tastes just like tap water'
'100% sure, the bottle says it was bottled from a spring just down the road!'
'I don't like tap water.'
'Sir, that is bottled water! I brought it over to you with the bottle unopened!'
'No I don't want this, can I have a coke instead. I never asked for tap water'.
'Urmm... Yes you can, but that is defiantly not tap water, look (goes to fetch another bottle with the cap tag thingy still attached to prove its unopened by us)'
'No I never asked for tap water thank you.'
'Ok sir, one coke on its way...'



Walk through to kitchen with my smiling customer mask on - and ask the chef to shove a bottle of water up his arse!

 

[Ethan]

Oh and to add to that:

'Are you still serving food'
'Yes - We serve food from 9 til 9 daily!'
'So your still serving food?'
'Yes.'
'Do you do everything on the menu all day?'
'Yes madam, we certainly do'
'So you can do a breakfast now'
'definitely'
'Ok, can I have a prawn and cray fish jacket potato?'
'Yes - anything else I can get you?'
'Actually, is it to late to have a breakfast?'
'..... No, we serve everything on the menu from 9 in the morning right through to 9 at night.'
'Oh, brilliant! Ill have a prawn and cray fish jacket then'

 

[Arch]

or maybe she always has a prawn and crayfish jacket for breakfast...

 

[Pat "5mph"]

A few days ago:
Customer: Can I have a large decaf 1 shot latte?
Me: no problem
Customer: Late night, need the coffee buz
Me:


Customer: a large skinny hot chocolate, mashmallows, cream, chocolate stick.
Me: ok
Customer: that mine? skinny milk, sure?
Me: yes, of course

 

[Archie_tect]

complete with skinny cream, low fat marshmallows and diabetic chocolate...

 

[Pat "5mph"]

complete with skinny cream, low fat marshmallows and diabetic chocolate...

She was not skinny

 

[Archie_tect]

I feel sorry for the poor cow....

 

[gbb]

Wife was sat at friends chatting, at one point she laughed at something, seconds later, the same laugh emanated fron the hallway.....ooer she thought. A few minutes later she laughed again, and again her laughter echoed from the hallway.....then she realised it's their parrot. It mimics voices so so well, so quickly.

Very often you'll sit there and it will shout 'Courtney, come and get your tea '

 

[threebikesmcginty]

You met at a Tourettes support group?

We ****ing didn't in actual ****ing fact!

 

[threebikesmcginty]

Well **** me, sorry I ****ing asked.

Knew I should have tacked a ****ing smiley onto that ****ing post.

 

[TVC]

Will you two mind your ****ing language.