Any good jokes ... ?

[Cavalol]

My cat went missing yesterday. I walked around the local park for an hour, but no luck. My mate said I needed to look harder, so I shaved my head and got some tattoos on my knuckles, but I still can't find him.

 

[betty swollocks]

The next person who asks me for pineapple juice, cranberry juice, lemonade and a slice of orange in the same glass, is gonna get a punch.

 

[Chris S]

Even the Finnish prime minister knows how to open a beer when a conventional opener isn't available. View attachment 554085
Genuine picture.

She also caused controversy by wearing a jacket without a shirt. So long as Boris doesn't follow suit.

 

[betty swollocks]

BREAKING NEWS: Liverpool manager has resigned and he's taking his family home to Germany.
The Klopps go back this weekend.

 

[Buck]

An artist has used steak to create portraits of people.

It’s a rare medium, but well done!

 

[Buck]

A local man was kidnapped by a gang of mime artists.

They did unspeakable things to him.

 

[Dave7]

I have just invested in an expensive drone. I am planning a business delivering quality cuts of meat to houses.
I hope it works as the steaks are high.

 

[Buck]

My dad was dying due to blood loss and we didn’t know his blood type to let the paramedic know.

He kept shouting at us to be positive but, to be honest, it’s hard without him around.

 

[Landsurfer]

 

[Smokin Joe]

I have just invested in an expensive drone. I am planning a business delivering quality cuts of meat to houses.
I hope it works as the steaks are high.

You were listening to Owen Money on Radio Wales this morning, weren't you?

 

[F70100]

 

[Dayvo]

 

[Dave7]

View attachment 554343

Excellent. Just my (sad??) type of humour.

 

[newfhouse]

 

[morrisman]