Any good jokes ... ?
- Thread starter cisamcgu
- Start date
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Bianchi boy
Über Member
- Location
- North wales
Roses are red
Violets are Blue,
Some poems rhym,
But this one doesn`t.
Violets are Blue,
Some poems rhym,
But this one doesn`t.
Joey Shabadoo
My pronouns are "He", "Him" and "buggerlugs"
Clocks go back this weekend but damned if I can find my receipt
Tenacious Sloth
Guru
- Location
- Huntingdon, UK
A back-breaking weekend for the Druids at Stonehenge this weekend as they move the stones back an hour.
betty swollocks
large member
Thames Valley Police have discovered the body of a Didcot man inside a crate of chickpeas.
They’re treating it as hummouside.
They’re treating it as hummouside.
Dayvo
just passin' through
- Location
- 59° 50′ 5.55″ N, 10° 47′ 41.89″ E
twentysix by twentyfive
Clinging on tightly
- Location
- Over the Hill
Two hillbillies walk into a restaurant. While having a bite to eat, they talk about their moonshine operation. Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table, who is eating a sandwich, begins to cough.
After a minute or so, it becomes apparent that she is in real distress. One of the hillbillies looks at her and says, "Kin ya swallar?" The woman shakes her head no. Then he asks, "Kin ya breathe?" The woman begins to turn blue, and shakes her head no.
The hillbilly walks over to the woman, lifts up her dress, yanks down her drawers, and quickly gives her right butt cheek a lick with his tongue.
The woman is so shocked that she has a violent spasm, and the obstruction flies out of her mouth.
As she begins to breathe again, the Hillbilly walks slowly back to his table. His brother said, "Ya know, I'd heerd of that there Hind Lick Maneuver but I ain't niver seed nobody do it!"
After a minute or so, it becomes apparent that she is in real distress. One of the hillbillies looks at her and says, "Kin ya swallar?" The woman shakes her head no. Then he asks, "Kin ya breathe?" The woman begins to turn blue, and shakes her head no.
The hillbilly walks over to the woman, lifts up her dress, yanks down her drawers, and quickly gives her right butt cheek a lick with his tongue.
The woman is so shocked that she has a violent spasm, and the obstruction flies out of her mouth.
As she begins to breathe again, the Hillbilly walks slowly back to his table. His brother said, "Ya know, I'd heerd of that there Hind Lick Maneuver but I ain't niver seed nobody do it!"
Dayvo
just passin' through
- Location
- 59° 50′ 5.55″ N, 10° 47′ 41.89″ E
Profpointy
Legendary Member
There's also the engineer's version - "that glass is twice as big as it needs to be"
Dayvo
just passin' through
- Location
- 59° 50′ 5.55″ N, 10° 47′ 41.89″ E
betty swollocks
large member
betty swollocks
large member
Last edited by a moderator:
betty swollocks
large member
Aye! A proper Yorkshire joke ...
Daley Thompson, Tessa Sanderson and Steve Cram are all round at Seb Coe's house for tea.
Steve brought the fish, Tessa brought the chips, Daley brought the mushy peas and Seb provided the salt and vinegar. Suddenly there is a knock at the door so Seb gets up to answer. "Who is it?", asks everyone in unison......
"It's Fatima wi t'bread."
Daley Thompson, Tessa Sanderson and Steve Cram are all round at Seb Coe's house for tea.
Steve brought the fish, Tessa brought the chips, Daley brought the mushy peas and Seb provided the salt and vinegar. Suddenly there is a knock at the door so Seb gets up to answer. "Who is it?", asks everyone in unison......
"It's Fatima wi t'bread."
