Any good jokes ... ?

[mistyoptic]

 

[tyred]

 

[Fnaar]

In Yorkshire ..... sadly Arkwright's wife of 60yrs died. They never missed church on Sunday, as they were very religious. He instructed the undertakers to put on her headstone “Lord, she was thine”.
But the monumental masons made a mistake.
When Arkwright visited the grave, he was horrified to see the headstone read “Lord, she was thin”
He rang the masons and angrily told them
“Tha missed off the e."
"Sorry, they said, we’ll fix it immediately."
So next time Arkwright went to the grave, he saw the headstone, it read ....
“e Lord, she was thin."

"But the monumental masons made a mistake."

Or, the masons made a monumental mistake
Unless it means that the masons were very, very large

 

[Archie_tect]

...or the monumental masons made monuments...

 

[Joey Shabadoo]

View: https://twitter.com/haveigotnews/status/1316725989481873408

 

[PaulB]

I just had a phone call from Trent Alexander-Arnold. I said, can I call you right back?

 

[DaveReading]

Or, the masons made a monumental mistake

Yes, but then you might be talking about a bunch of senior policemen.

 

[kynikos]

I've had enough; I'm self-isolating from everyone, including family, and moving into the garden.

I'll be living in my tent which I got on Amazon Prime Day - 25% off.

This is the winter of my discount tent.

 

[RichardB]

"Monumental Mason" is actually a job description.

 

[RichardB]

This is the winter of my discount tent.

<massive groan>

 

[raleighnut]

"Monumental Mason" is actually a job description.

Yep my Uncle Dave was a 'Time Served' Monumental Mason.

 

[morrisman]

I've had enough; I'm self-isolating from everyone, including family, and moving into the garden.
I'll be living in my tent which I got on Amazon Prime Day - 25% off.
This will be the winter of my discount tent.

 

[Tenacious Sloth]

I've had enough; I'm self-isolating from everyone, including family, and moving into the garden.
I'll be living in my tent which I got on Amazon Prime Day - 25% off.
This will be the winter of my discount tent.

Yes. Much funnier than the version with the spaces between the lines (4 posts above).

 

[Cavalol]

I've got an interview for a job as a panel beater.
If successful, I'll start with those four twits on the X-Factor⁠.

 

[postman]

In Yorkshire ..... sadly Arkwright's wife of 60yrs died. They never missed church on Sunday, as they were very religious. He instructed the undertakers to put on her headstone “Lord, she was thine”.
But the monumental masons made a mistake.
When Arkwright visited the grave, he was horrified to see the headstone read “Lord, she was thin”
He rang the masons and angrily told them
“Tha missed off the e."
"Sorry, they said, we’ll fix it immediately."
So next time Arkwright went to the grave, he saw the headstone, it read ....
“e Lord, she was thin."

Sorry it should read.e Lord she wer thin.