Any good jokes ... ?

[PaulB]

Congratulations to Britain's most famous ventriloquist this morning after his wife gave birth to a 7lb 10oz gouncing gagy goy.

 

[betty swollocks]

I’m opening a restaurant called ‘Karma’.
There’ll be no starters or main courses, just desserts.

 

[Sharky]

A chemist walks into a bar and orders a glass of h2o...
The next guy in line says, "I'll have a glass of h2o, too." - He died shortly after.

 

[Cavalol]

Brighton isn't shaped like a loaf of bread, but Hove is.

 

[morrisman]

A chemist walks into a bar and orders a glass of h2o...
The next guy in line says, "I'll have a glass of h2o, too." - He died shortly after.

Two chemists walk into a bar. The first says, "I'll have some H2O." The second says, "I'll have a glass of water too. Why did you say H2O? It's the end of the day and there's no need to talk about work."

 

[Chris S]

Why don't hippies wear Dr Martins?
Because they're resistant to acid.

 

[ClichéGuevara]

Not a joke as such, but it made me smile.

 

[betty swollocks]

I can't remember what that Italian dessert is called where you pour espresso coffee over ice cream?
Everyone else I ask can't remember either.

 

[betty swollocks]

Next week, I am to be presented with gravy granules by HM The Queen.
It's highest honour she can bisto on me.

 

[Cavalol]

My granddad fell into a vat of invisible ink. That was the last I ever saw of him.

 

[DaveReading]

I can't remember what that Italian dessert is called where you pour espresso coffee over ice cream?
Everyone else I ask can't remember either.

Sadly, that joke only works provided you can't pronounce 'g' in Italian.

Daniel Ricciardo will probably get it, though.

 

[Dave7]

Sadly, that joke only works provided you can't pronounce 'g' in Italian.

Daniel Ricciardo will probably get it, though.

Gone over my head for sure.

 

[colly]

Welsh Word Search

 

[mistyoptic]

I went to the Doctors today, he said I've got very low blood pressure.

So he's given me a prescription for 2 IKEA self assembly wardrobes.

 

[Cavalol]

The Lotto gives you a 1 in 45 million chance of not going to work tomorrow. Whisky gives you a 1 in 5 chance.