Any good jokes ... ?

[monkers]

I just sold my vacuum cleaner - it was only gathering dust.

 

[betty swollocks]

News just in:-: the People's Revolutionary Front of Cake Decorators are going to hold a demonstration in London tomorrow.
The Met police are expecting hundreds and thousands to turn up.

 

[Archie_tect]

Visitors to sea-side resorts are reminded that public toilets remain closed... and you thought people were just 'going for a paddle'.

 

[tyred]

ME: I got bitten on my walk by a Rottweiler.
WIFE: OMG, what if it had been one of the kids?
ME: I could have fought off a small child.

 

[Chris S]

What do you call a man with his scrotum in a rottweiler's mouth?
Castrated.

 

[morrisman]

News just in:-: the People's Revolutionary Front of Cake Decorators are going to hold a demonstration in London tomorrow.
The Met police are expecting hundreds and thousands to turn up.

It will be peaceful unless the Revolutionary People's Front of Cake Decorators turn up

 

[Dayvo]

 

[PeteXXX]

Why did the turkey join a band?

Because it had the drumsticks..

🦃

 

[Beebo]

Why did the turkey join a band?

Because it had the drumsticks..

🦃

It’s a straight red card for jokes that poor.
I think you need to take a long hard look at yourself for posting that.

 

[betty swollocks]

 

[betty swollocks]

I was reading the obituary column in 'Confectionery Today' magazine earlier this morning and it mentioned ‘Mars Bars, Packets of Rolos & Double Deckers’.
I then realised that it was in fact the ‘a bit chewy column.’

 

[betty swollocks]

When lockdown is finally over, I’m going to open a shop selling very mature french cheese.
I’ll call it ‘Fromages Ago’.

 

[Joey Shabadoo]

 

[Joey Shabadoo]

 

[monkers]