Any good jokes ... ?

[flake99please]

How many emos does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. They just sit in the dark and cry.

 

[flake99please]

What do you call a budget circumcision?

A rip off.

 

[morrisman]

 

[PaulB]

Please can you stay on Topic!

Well NASA reckon people could live on Mars. That's a load of rubbish. I tried it and I'm five stone heavier and diabetic.

 

[Cavalol]

One of Madonna's greatest hits has only just been translated into the national language of the Netherlands. Like a Virgin, Dutch for the very first time.

 

[Cavalol]

Due to his appalling veggie diet, Ghandi was very weak. Because he walked everywhere he had bad feet, and again, because of his diet he had terrible breath.


That made him a super calloused fragile mystic vexed by halitosis.

 

[Cavalol]

Girlfriend's birthday tomorrow, she said to get her something from the Bodyshop. I got her a front nearside wing off a 2001 Ford Focus, bet it will be the wrong colour.

 

[tyred]

 

[tyred]

When my mother was 68 she started to walk five miles per day. Now she is 82 but we have no idea where she is.

 

[PaulB]

I was in this pub last night and suddenly, this barmaid screamed "Does anyone know CPR?" Well I answered, 'Flippin' 'eck, I know the whole alphabet!" and everyone burst out laughing. Well apart from this one guy.

 

[betty swollocks]

My ex wife was a geologist and it was because of this we divorced.
When she came home every day after work, she carried on finding faults.

 

[betty swollocks]

 

[roley poley]

View attachment 517210

I had to buy another one to open it but cant open that one either

 

[Dayvo]

 

[mistyoptic]