Any good jokes ... ?

[Cavalol]

(Apologies for the picture of that arse)

 

[Cavalol]

The star attraction at my local aquarium has just been repossessed.




Turned out it was just a loan shark.

 

[PeteXXX]

 

[Cavalol]

 

[PaulB]

Don't usually play these games but I'm bored, Just fill in the blanks

Bank acc number:
Card number:
Sort code:
Name on card:
Expiry date:
CCV:

 

[Dayvo]

Brian May is a slightly more optimistic version of Brian Cant.

But Brian Moore is out in front.

 

[PaulB]

Sad news from the Nestlé factory today..
A night shift worker was crushed beneath a case of chocolate that fell 40ft off the storage racking.
He called for help repeatedly but every time he shouted "the milky bars are on me" his colleagues just cheered.

 

[raleighnut]

Bit like the worker who drowned in a vat of Guinness in Dublin, apparently he got out 3 times for a pee.

 

[Nibor]

 

[Cavalol]

Jimmy Somerville and Macy Gray have been stuck in the restaurant for nearly a week now. He can't say goodbye, and every time she tries, she chokes.

 

[Venod]

The cat has just asked if I would like the radio leaving on for company when he goes out.

 

[Cavalol]

 

[Cavalol]

West Mercia police announced tonight that they wish to interview a man wearing high heels and frilly knickers, but the Chief Constable said they must wear their normal uniforms.

 

[matticus]

Derbyshire police announced tonight that they wish to interview a man wearing high heels and frilly knickers, but the Chief Constable said they must wear their normal uniforms.

I've corrected your typo, hope you don't mind.

[the thread already has jokes about Irishmen and other traditional figures of fun, so we may as well pick on someone that deserves it]

 

[Cavalol]

I bought a television, and written on the box was 'Built-in Freeview'. Is nothing made in the UK anymore?