Any good jokes ... ?

[Smokin Joe]

Covid spelled backwards is divoc - what divoc is going on ...?

 

[PeteXXX]

 

[bruce1530]

My ex-girlfriend had a lazy eye.
All the time she was with me, she was seeing someone else.

My girlfriend has attractive eyes.
The left one is so attractive that the right one keeps looking across at it.

 

[Cavalol]

I call my ex-missus 'pontoon'. One eye sticks and the other one twists.

 

[Cavalol]

Jousting: What a Brummie asks wasps.

 

[PeteXXX]

 

[PeteXXX]

 

[GM]

Anyone wanna buy 100 Scotch eggs and 150 bite size sausage rolls?
I misread the headlines and thought everyone was picnic buying!

 

[rikki]

 

[LCpl Boiled Egg]

Jousting: What a Brummie asks wasps.

Jargon: What someone from Norfolk calls running slowly.

 

[Cavalol]

Me: I won the Leslie Nielsen Award when I was at school.

Son: What's that?

Me: It’s a big building, with lots of kids in it.

 

[Archie_tect]

Shirley, that's a joke...

 

[Cavalol]

 

[Seevio]

Anaesthetist: Count backwards from 100

Me: 100...99...98...

Me: ... 3...2...1 [looks around] Now what?

Anaesthetist: [muffled] you have to try to find me.

 

[PaulB]

I've switched all the labels in my wife's spice draw. She doesn't know yet but the thyme is cumin.