Any good jokes ... ?

[Chris S]

The researchers who discovered the Corona virus were sponsored by 7 Up

 

[Ming the Merciless]

CoronaVirus goes into a bar and says "it's my round"...

 

[Cavalol]

 

[PaulB]

Lidl management have released a statement today confirming that, due to the panic buying and scenes of pandemonium in stores, they will be taking drastic action and opening another till.

 

[betty swollocks]

Just been in Waitrose - it was bonkers! They had no toilet paper at all: none. Reluctantly, I went to the checkout to ask if they had any. The answer was a firm NO!
Waddling back to the toilets with my undies & trousers round my ankles is something I never want to do again.

 

[Cavalol]

I went to see an Elbow tribute band called Arse.

They were so good, I couldn't tell the difference.

 

[Cavalol]

Gnoming pigeon

 

[Cavalol]

It's the final of a pinball competition tomorrow.

I shouldn’t have any problems winning – my opponent's a kid who is deaf, dumb and blind.

 

[Cavalol]

I'm a member of the National Rifle Association. Basically, we just rummage through other people's stuff.

 

[Cavalol]

What do you call a Chinese woman with one leg?

Irene.

 

[Cavalol]

 

[postman]

I have just joined online.The Coronavirus Anglers Club.I'll be alright now,they have not caught a thing all season.

 

[Archie_tect]

I'll be OK... apparently I cycle too slow to catch a cold.

 

[Cavalol]

My ex-girlfriend had a lazy eye.

All the time she was with me, she was seeing someone else.

 

[morrisman]