Any good jokes ... ?

[CharlesF]

I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes..

She gave me a hug.

 

[betty swollocks]

 

[betty swollocks]

C'mon: own up. Who's been.....

?

 

[roadrash]

I wondered what the phrase stock piling meant

 

[morrisman]

Cosmetic company CEO sells soul to the devil in exchange for success in mirror/face powder combo market. He made a compact with the Devil.

 

[PaulB]

Went to a Blur concert last night and it was absolutely packed. All the people, so many people.

 

[betty swollocks]

Tesco's, good, occasionally busy later. Sainsbury's, moderate to good, sale on Corn Flakes. Asda, slight to moderate, heavy crowds by evening. Marks and Spencers and Co-Op, fair. Waitrose. fair to moderate, spillage in aisle 7. Lidl, rough at first, moderate later.
And that concludes the Shopping Forecast.

 

[betty swollocks]

 

[postman]

Funny that since the virus began,i have noticed Natasha from Russia doesn't appear in the banner across my screen.i hope she is ok.

Jousting: What a Brummie asks wasps.

My mate from Wolverhampton asked me what is the difference between a buffalo and a bison.He says you can wash your hands in a bison.

 

[Archie_tect]

The colonel in Nigeria hasn't written either- worrying times.

 

[PaulB]

Tesco's, good, occasionally busy later. Sainsbury's, moderate to good, sale on Corn Flakes. Asda, slight to moderate, heavy crowds by evening. Marks and Spencers and Co-Op, fair. Waitrose. fair to moderate, spillage in aisle 7. Lidl, rough at first, moderate later.
And that concludes the Shopping Forecast.

If there was a daily prize, this one's the winner.

 

[morrisman]

They have decided to test everyone for Corona Virus. Please send a stool sample to 10 Downing Street, London, SW1A 2AA

 

[tyred]

No, I'm working from home today.

 

[Chris S]

 

[Chris S]

Are you short of toilet paper?
Just use the shower curtain and wash it down afterwards.