Any good jokes ... ?

[Arjimlad]

 

[colly]

Edit: and now, like me, you will have that bloody tune running round your head for days.

 

[Cavalol]

I was researching cooking with insects today as it’s supposedly cheaper than chicken. It’s quite enlightening and I think I’ve found a locust alternative to meat.

 

[PaulB]

The man who invented strobe lighting passed away yesterday. H s f ne l w l t k p a e n xt T e da in he C em t r um S oc p rt

 

[Mo1959]

Not a joke but it made me laugh.


View: https://www.facebook.com/ozzymanreviews/videos/911145055993673/UzpfSTEwMTQ1OTc3Nzg6MTAyMTkxNTQzOTk5NDM1NzM/

 

[Chris S]

Don't shake hands because of the Corona virus.
Just rub noses instead.

 

[Joey Shabadoo]

The World Health Organisation have said dogs cannot transmit the Convid 19 virus and so they do not need to be kept indoors.




WHO let the dogs out.

 

[PaulB]

I took my pet goldfish to the vets this morning. The vet asked me what was wrong and I told him my fish had epilepsy. After a visual examination he said, "It looks alright to me." and I said "I haven't taken him out of the tank yet."

 

[PaulB]

Might look for a house soon with period features.

Although to be fair to my missus, she hates that nickname.

 

[Mr Celine]

A man goes to the doctor suspecting he has corona virus which the doctor confirms.
" How're you going to treat it doc?"

"We put you in isolation and feed you pancake and pizza".

"Is that going to cure me?"

"No, but it's all we can fit under the door"

 

[PaulB]

When I heard they had found a cure for dyslexia it was like music to my arse.

 

[PaulB]

My mate set up up with a blind date last night. He told me she was a real beauty but she was expecting a baby. I felt a right berk sitting in the pub wearing nothing but a nappy.

 

[PaulB]

I ate at the Mary Poppins restaurant last night. Super cauliflower cheese, the lobster was atrocious.

 

[Andy_R]

BREAKING NEWS ...
John Travolta was hospitalized for suspected COVID-19, but doctors now confirm that it was only Saturday Night Fever, and they assure everyone that he is Staying Alive.

 

[colly]

So I was sat on the bus, wearing my mask, and the bloke next to me says: 'Is that a flu mask?'

I said: 'No mate, it's a coughy filter'